Code Name: Mama

Preschool Weekly Activity Schedule (13) – All About Me

September 2nd, 2010 – 2 Comments – http://bit.ly/cDCjlL

Formerly known as “Toddler Activities Schedule,” the Preschool Weekly Activity Schedule is designed to help parents and caretakers of toddlers and preschoolers do one easy – but enriching – activity with their children each day of the week.

Each week features fun and educational activities; book, music, and sign language suggestions; and other ideas to help adults and children connect through learning and fun. Please check out the archives for other themes and activities.

This week’s topic is “All About Me,” one of your child’s favorite subjects.

Sunday – Messy Play

*Fingerprint Art: Use paint to make cute fingerprint characters.

Monday – Exploring Our World

*The Differences Among Us: Celebrate the differences that make us all unique! Take a few old magazines and cut out pictures of people – find different ages, ethnicities, etc. Make a collage with your child, and talk about how the people are the same and different. PBS has a few more ideas to celebrate diversity.¹

Tuesday – Pretend Play

*Photo Shoot/Dress Up: Get the camera ready, your little one is going to be a model. First, ask them to make all kinds of faces – happy, sad, angry, surprised, take a picture of every face and see if she can label them later. Then, play dress up and take pictures of your child in different costumes. You could also talk about different jobs people have using the different dress-up clothes.

Wednesday – Science Adventures

*My Fingerprints (Child Identification Kit): this activity will not only serve as our science adventure for the week, it’s also an important one for every parent to do for safety’s sake: we’re going to create identification kits for our kids. There is a free kit available from Project Jason, it is in PDF format and ready to print. While the chances of your child being abducted are slim to none, this kit can give you a little peace of mind.

For the fingerprint portion, you’ll just need an ink pad. Talk to your little one about how everyone has a unique fingerprint, that our fingerprints help us pick things up, and that we leave our fingerprints whenever we touch something. It is also fun to look at them through magnifying glasses.

Thursday – Language/Pre-Reading

*Write a Biography: Write a story about your little one, and let her help you fill in the details. Include details like where she lives, who is in her family, what her favorite food is, etc.

Friday – Fun with Numbers

*Measure Me: Using string, measure your child’s height and talk about how many inches/feet he is. If he is interested, help him measure other body parts and things around the house too.

Saturday – Weekly Yoga Pose

*Calming Body Breath Meditation: This parent-guided meditation will help your child learn how to focus and relax. Visit Be Present Mama for full details of the meditation, but here is a snippet:

Take your child’s foot into your hand and say , “Let’s close our eyes. Now picture your feet in your head and think about how they feel. Take a deep breath as you picture your feet and relax. Breathe into your ankles, allowing them to be soft and relax. And now your lower legs…” As you talk about each body part, touch that part to help your child bring his focus there.

Book and Music Suggestions

*Hokey Pokey: Sing the Hokey Pokey and shake out different body parts
*Whoever You Are, by Mem Fox – beautifully illustrated!
*About Me songs and rhymes at Everything Preschool
*A collection of books “about me“

And for my fellow middle class white parents, yes – it is healthy to talk about race. ↩

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Posted in Activities for Toddlers, Arts & Crafts, Creative/Dramatic Play, Educational, Fun & Games, Music, Toddler Activity Schedule – 2 Comments

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Why We Chose Cloth Diapers, Part 4

September 1st, 2010 – 6 Comments – http://bit.ly/bn6N5C

This is part four in a series in which I discuss why my family uses cloth rather than disposable diapers. In part one I looked at the environmental impact of both diapering systems. I presented research on the health concerns of each system in part two. Part three included information on the cost of each system. Today’s article is about the convenience of cloth vs. disposable diapers.

Convenience¹

Regardless of whether cloth diapers may be healthier for children, better for the environment, and significantly more affordable than disposables, some parents may be wondering more about the relative convenience of each diapering system.

Disposable diaper advocates usually cite convenience as a major reason to use single use diapers. Once the diaper is soiled, you simply drop it in the diaper pail or trash can. That assessment is not entirely true, though, since parents should flush all solid waste whether they use cloth or disposable.² Realistically, few parents take time to shake the solids into the toilet from disposables.

So why do cloth diapers have the stigma of being less convenient? The primary reasons are laundry, travel away from home, and ease of use.

Laundry

Personally, I had the most difficult time with laundry immediately after our son was born. Learning how to be a mother isn’t always easy, and finding time to run downstairs to start the pre-wash or hot wash cycle was rarely convenient with round the clock breastfeeding or marathon bouncing/burping/walking sessions. But as soon as we got into the swing of parenthood, the extra two to three loads of diaper laundry each week has been barely noticeable. And in the warmer months, I actually enjoy going outside to hang the laundry to dry on the line.

For parents who do not have the time or energy to wash extra laundry, diaper services provide incredible convenience. Every week a little gnome comes to pick up your bag of dirty diapers and leave you a bag of fresh ones. Truly magical and no less inconvenient than sorting recycling.³

The “burden” of laundry or sending your diapers off to a diaper service is balanced somewhat by never having to remember to run to the store for diapers, not to mention having to haul them to the car and then into the house. Cloth diapering parents also save on garbage bags and trips to the trash can outside.

Travel

As far as travel, day trips are no problem with cloth. Today’s cloth diapering parents are equipped with waterproof “wet bags” to store wet diapers in, and many cloth diapers are no more bulky than a large disposable. We use a regular backpack instead of a diaper bag. It comfortably holds at least five diapers, wipes, our personal items, snacks/water, and a few toys. I am no worse off carrying cloth than I would be with disposables.

For longer trips I may switch to disposables if we will not have easy access to laundry facilities, but we still use cloth during weekends at my parents’ house – it’s no big deal for me to do a load there if I need to.

Ease of Use

Most people may be accustomed to disposable diapers, but the plastic and tape are no easier to use than the snaps, Velcro, or Snappis that adorn today’s cloth. Diapering with cloth is easy.

The most popular cloth diapers are fastened with either snaps or Velcro tabs. Parents can choose to buy diapers in different sizes as their baby grows, or they can purchase “one size” diapers that grow with the child. A one size diaper has more snaps that enable it to fit a six month old as well as it does a sixteen month old.

And forget pins – if you use prefolds and covers, don’t worry about sticking your baby. One of the greatest inventions for cloth diapers is a small plastic piece called a Snappi. It has teeth that grip the diaper and keep it from falling off.

One More Potential Benefit of Using Cloth

Cloth diaper advocates assert that children who wear cloth are diaper free earlier on average than their peers in disposables.⁴ This might be because children in cloth can feel when they are wet, whereas disposables tend to hide the wet feeling. If this is true, it would be a great convenience to cloth-diapering parents to have their child out of diapers up to a year earlier than if the child wore disposables.

Conclusion

My husband and I chose cloth based on all of the factors I’ve looked at in this series. I knew that we would take care to launder the diapers in the most environmentally friendly way available to us, we were willing to invest a little extra time in return for the reduced health risks and lower cost of cloth, and we have also been happy with the convenience of using cloth diapers (nor are we so hard core that we refuse to be flexible when the situation warrants using disposables).

Another bonus for me? Cloth diapered baby bottoms are adorable. No matter what type of cloth diaper you buy, there can be little argument that cloth is cuter than the character-laden plastic. You can spice up any kind of cloth with dye or appliqués, or you can find adorable prints and patterns new or used.

Ultimately, the choice between diapering systems is a very individual decision for each family. Hopefully, one of the primary considerations is the health and well-being of the child, which is what I had in mind when writing this series. I would be happy to answer any cloth diapering questions you have, or at least refer you to someone who can.

This post was originally published on Go Green Street. Since we are almost completely out of diapers now, I wanted to share it with my own readers before I wrote a couple of posts on potty learning. ↩
Even with Disposable Diapers, Poop in the Potty ↩
The Joy of Cloth Diapers ↩
I have not seen a scientific study that establishes this assertion. Cloth Diapers Made Simple; Why Use Cloth ↩

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Posted in Diapering, Going Green, My Guest Posts Elsewhere – 6 Comments

101 Things To Do Instead of Yelling or Spanking

August 31st, 2010 – 86 Comments – http://bit.ly/bNNxq8

If you have come to a point in a challenging situation with your child where you feel that the only thing left to do is to yell at or strike your child, step away from the child.

Here are 101 things you can do instead of yelling or spanking:

Take a parental time-out.
Call for help from a friend or family member (ask them to give you an immediate break if possible).
Pile everyone in the car and drive to the park (or anywhere – just go for a change of scenery).
Sing a silly song about how angry you are.
Do jumping jacks.
Draw your feelings out.
Make yourself your favorite snack.
Write down 3 instances when you felt intense love for your child.
Clean out your clothes closet and set aside a bag for Goodwill (now would probably not be a good time to do this with the kids’ toys).
Change the subject – come back to it when you and your child are calmer.
Whisper.
Practice progressive relaxation.
Act like animals: stomp like an elephant, growl like a lion, etc.
Run around the house (or around the block if your children have alternate childcare).
Do a load of laundry.
Set out clothes for the kids for the next week (or do some other task that will pay off later).
Release tension: shake your shoulders, roll your neck, etc.
Count to 100. Out loud. In a robot voice.
Immerse yourself in an easy craft project.
Dust off the hedge clippers and trim your trees or other landscaping.
If your child allows it, give him a huge hug and tell him you love him.
Scream into a pillow.
Bake cookies (with help from your child), bring some to a neighbor or your local fire department.
Dance to your favorite song.
Instead of yelling at your kids to do something, act out your request in a game of charades or pictionary.
Pluck your eyebrows.
Clean out the refrigerator.
Bang your head – to some loud music.
Write down the angry words you could have said, then rip the paper up and throw it away.
Do some yoga.
Rearrange the furniture.
Make a list of the many reasons you love your child.
Wash the car by hand.
Laugh in as many different ways as you can think of (think Mary Poppins).
Take everyone and go sit in a car wash. Choose the option for colored soap.
Chocolate.
Call a friend who supports gentle discipline (think about finding a “gentle discipline partner” who you can talk to anytime you feel the urge to yell or spank).
Fall down theatrically on the floor. Lie there long enough to collect yourself.
Pay bills.
Keep a roll of tape handy – use it on your mouth.
Squeeze a stress ball.
Recite multiplication tables.
Stand as silent and still as possible.
Paint your nails.
Do 25 sit-ups.
Finish a task you’ve been putting off.
Listen to an audio book.
Take a bubble bath.
Ask a silly question. Ask another.
Take a walk around your neighborhood or a park and clean up the trash.
Run up and down the stairs.
Paint on different mediums (paper, rocks, your windows, etc.).
Write a story using only 100 words.
Cook a meal for the freezer.
Look at pictures of your child when she was a baby.
Play Solitaire (or whatever game strikes your fancy).
Brew some of your favorite tea or coffee. Have a tea party.
Sweep, vacuum, or mop.
Learn something new online.
Play with Playdough or clay.
Put a movie on for the kids; have sex with your partner.
Take a shower.
Organize meal plans for the next week. Or month. Or year.
Set up an obstacle course for you and your kids to do (inside or out).
Instead of shouting something angrily, shout “I love you!!”
Make up a rhyme about how much you love your child. Recite it while standing on your head.
Play ball (basketball, throw a tennis ball against a wall, play catch with someone, etc.).
Take artsy pictures.
Make a PostSecret postcard.
Pull weeds.
Decoupage something.
Blow bubbles.
Make a list of “things I would rather do than engage in power struggles with my child.”
Trade roles with your child: pretend you are the little, and she is the adult.
Reorganize a closet or cabinet.
Roll around on an exercise ball.
Make bread or pizza dough (the kind you have to knead).
Form a drum circle: everyone grab a drum or a pot, and start playing.
Build a tower out of books (or anything handy). Knock it down.
Gather the kids for a nature walk around the block.
Have a few funny videos saved on YouTube to watch when you need a break.
Take silly pictures of yourself. Invite your child to help.
Ask your Facebook or Twitter friends to tell you a joke.
Scrub the shower.
Write a poem (it doesn’t have to be a good one).
Send postcards to random people.
Make a silly (and unrelated) announcement. (“For the rest of the day, everyone must hop on one foot when moving about the house!”)
Make funny faces. Tell your child that no matter what, they must not laugh.
Turn on a videocamera. Turn the opportunity into one of love and connection that you can be proud of later.
Play an instrument.
Take the family to a park with sidewalk chalk: write/draw inspirational messages/pictures.
Learn how to say a few words in another language (ASL, Spanish, etc.).
Floss.
Jump rope.
Do something nice for someone else. (Involve your child if he wants to help.)
Write your feelings down on paper.
Meditate or pray.
Hug your child’s teddy bear or doll and talk about how much you love your child (while your child is watching, if you’d like).
Look into a mirror and realize what your child is seeing when you are angry.
Remember your child is young, and innocent, and loves you, and needs to trust you.
Take a minute to calm down and breastfeed your child. (It’s hard to be angry at a child who is nursing, plus the act of breastfeeding releases hormones that will help calm both of you down.)

The bottom line is to not scream at or hit your child. It’s ok to step away from the situation or to defuse a fight by using laughter or love instead of instantly turning to discipline or punishment. If you are trying to “teach” your child something, she will not learn when you are approaching her with anger – whether it is in your voice or in your hand. All she will feel is fear.

Talk about it when both you and your child are calm. Chances are, you will both feel better about the outcome.

What do you do when you need a moment to compose yourself?

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Posted in Attachment Parenting, Discipline, Parenting – 86 Comments

Gentle Parenting Ideas: Traveling with Toddlers

August 30th, 2010 – 7 Comments – http://bit.ly/diBwqQ

This post is the sixth in a series about gentle parenting through potential power struggles with your toddler. Each post will give you ideas and examples for using love and logic to work through some fairly common parent/toddler areas of concern: brushing teeth, getting into the car seat, meals/eating, shopping, diaper changes, picking up toys, and traveling. I welcome your gentle/respectful parenting ideas and feedback; thank you to everyone who has already contributed ideas.

Ideas to Make Traveling with Toddlers a Positive Experience

Storytelling: Take turns telling getting creative with your toddler by telling stories. Trust me, your stories don’t need to be bestsellers to keep your child’s attention.

Audio Books: When you get tired of spinning your own yarns, let someone else do it for you. Check out audio books from your local library and listen to them together.

Sing: Whether you are singing alone, with your toddler, or with the radio or a CD, make music! They Might Be Giants have some fun kids’ songs that are also easy on adult ears.

Occupy their Hands: Bring along a simple activity that will require their concentration and some dexterity. Tie some loose knots in a piece of smooth rope and ask your toddler to untie the knots. Try a nuts and bolts toy (we own and enjoy this nice wooden version from Plan Toys, but as long as you are supervising you could try the real things). Bring lacing cards (here are some cute dinosaur ones; we got primary color shape lacing cards cheap from US Toy). Buy some stickers and let them stick them on the in-flight magazine or some old paper from home.

Check Out the Scenery: Don’t let the world pass you by without talking about it. Remember that every new experience builds new pathways in your little one’s brain – help make the traveling experience rich by talking about what you see outside of your window. If you can, try taking pictures of it to revisit with your toddler later, you might be surprised by how much she remembers.

Take Funny Pictures: Let your toddler get into the memory making mood by both taking funny pictures of him (at roadside attractions, in his car seat), and by letting him take pictures too. You can create a memory book later if you are so inclined.

Snacks: Don’t forget that your little one will want some healthy calories at regular intervals. Keep an assortment of portable snacks ready.

Bring Non-Toys: Most toddlers can amuse themselves for at least 15 minutes with a simple roll of blue painter’s tape or a pad of Post-it notes. What other non-toy objects might your little one be interested in?

Play Games: Play “I Spy” or the Alphabet Game (find each letter of the alphabet on signs, etc.). Make up a picture bingo game – make cards with pictures of horses, buses, stop signs, etc. and see how many your child can find.

Something New: Kids might get tired of crayons at home, but there is something magical about a new box. Bring small new toys along and open one on each travel day (or one every few hours). New stickers, new books, etc.

Light Them Up: Traveling at night? Invest a few dollars in glow in the dark bracelets, necklaces, fans, or other toys. Nothing says fun in a dark car like glowing neon chemicals! We got ours from the dollar aisle of Target, you can also find them cheap at Dollar Stores and on Amazon.

Travel-Friendly Toys: Most parents agree that toys like Etch-a-Sketch, ViewFinder, Finger/Hand Puppets, interactive books (I Spy, lift the flap)

Magnetic Puzzles/Stories: Create your own magnets using photographs or card stock. Cut them up into puzzles or let your toddler use them to make stories. (There are some more great make-your-own ideas on that link!)

Portable Activity Bags: What can you do with some pieces of yarn and a square of sandpaper? Create art! That idea and many more are on The Sunny Patch’s Activity Bags for Preschoolers page (not all travel friendly).

Take Frequent Breaks: Please don’t expect your toddler to sit for hours on end – they are used to being much more active and on the move. Plan frequent pit stops into your drive time, or let them get up and wander when possible if you’re on a plane or train. You may also want to try to schedule travel around your child’s normal nap schedule (although this may not work for some kids).

What ideas do you have to help make traveling a good experience? Please share them in the comments.

http://thesunnypatch.blogspot.com/2007/09/activity-bags-for-preschoolers.html

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Posted in Activities for Toddlers, Arts & Crafts, Attachment Parenting, Creative/Dramatic Play, Discipline, Educational, Fun & Games, Music, Parenting, Sensory, Toddlerhood – 7 Comments

The Joys of Breastfeeding Past Infancy #20

August 27th, 2010 – 41 Comments – http://bit.ly/9bkIxX

Today I am happy to host a guest post by Heather. Heather (aka Mommypotamus) is a SAHM that will be welcoming her second child via home waterbirth any day now. She loves to nurture her family through delicious local, organic meals and practices natural parenting methods like full-term breastfeeding, cloth diapering and elimination communication. One of her favorite pastimes is combating extended breastfeeding myths via her blog. Here is her breastfeeding guest post:
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Mommy’s Ewetuhwus!

Of all the concepts I have tried to teach my toddler, one required no instruction at all. With a few storyline adjustments to “What To Expect When Mommy’s Having a Baby” (like having the mommy rush home from the grocery store to have her baby instead of going to the hospital) Katie was well on her way to understanding all about the little life growing in my tummy. Uterus, pronounced “ewe-tuh-wus,” became her favorite word, and before long she began whispering sweet nothings to my belly at bedtime. That was when I heard this:

“I love you, baby. When you come out I will hold you and mommy will nurse you. You will drink this side and I will drink this side!”

I Love This Girl!

It was then that I realized that despite my inattention to this particular detail, she had reached her own conclusions on tandem nursing. I suppose it is a good thing that I was already planning on it, since she obviously expected nothing less.

Nursing while pregnant has not been particularly easy for me. There are some perks, to be sure. In my house eating is a rich, sensual experience and the privilege of eating for three without expanding in every direction (not referring to the baby bump, of course) is simply delightful.

Also, breastfeeding has helped her cope with some of the changes that came with my pregnancy. Physical closeness has always been one of the defining characteristics of our relationship, but because of a small diastasis I am not supposed to pick her up anymore. Since I have carried her in a sling (or in my arms), slept with her and nursed her for her entire life, she seemed hurt and confused by the change. However, my ability to continue breastfeeding made it easier to soothe her feelings of rejection. But that’s not my favorite reason . . .

The “Talk”

No, I’m not referring to that talk. Most children are weaned before they can articulate their feelings about breastfeeding. But those that aren’t sure do have a lot to say! One of my greatest joys in breastfeeding is the affection my daughter expresses toward the subject. Our nursing sessions are full of amusing conversations like the one in which she gave baby the “tandem nursing” talk. Here’s another one I will always remember:

One day she nursed briefly on one side and quickly requested the other.
Me: “No. Finish this side.”
Katie: “Why mommy”
Me: “Because I don’t want you to get all the sugary foremilk and no creamy hindmilk.”
Katie: “Ohhhh!”

Later that day she walked up to me and said, “Mommy, I want some cream and sugar.” I had no idea what she was talking about, but then it hit me. I couldn’t stop smiling!

Already Worth the Trouble

Like I said earlier, though, nursing while pregnant hasn’t all been rainbows and butterflies. Both soreness and the awkwardness of getting her over my baby bump to my breasts have presented some real challenges, but now that I’m 35+ weeks along I can already say it has all been worth it. Here’s why: Babies and toddlers are in hyperdrive when it comes to growth and development. So many things change in them and around them. Every day holds something new, challenging, exciting . . . even scary.

Although I wouldn’t put the arrival of a new sibling into the scary category, I imagine it can be quite unsettling for many firstborns. Especially during this time of transition I hope that breastfeeding will remain an open door to comfort, safety and reassurance for my toddler.

Do I think breastfeeding is the only way to comfort a toddler? Of course not. But because of its deeply ingrained connection with comfort, I believe it is one of the best tools a mom can have. My own experience tells me that where other techniques fail, breastfeeding is able to penetrate a child’s experience and bring peace.

Free to Explore Yet Close to Home Base

I have fewer ideals about life with #2 (I think). I’m not sure what I’ll require her to share with her sibling (gender TBD) and what I’ll let her keep sacred, but one thing is sure: I don’t expect her to be a “big kid” and stand by as I give her beloved “Cream & Sugar” to our new baby. I can only imagine that experience would become the source of all kinds of competition, jealousy, and rivalry. I’m sure this isn’t true for every family. Some toddlers self-wean when their moms are pregnant or for some other reason. Some moms choose to wean when they find out they’re pregnant, which gives the older child time to adjust before the baby arrives. But since I didn’t wean Katie (and she certainly did not wean herself!), I am more than happy to let her keep her place at the breast while welcoming another latcher-on’er.

Rather than feel replaced, I hope she sees herself as a gentle guide to this new little one. One day she will probably give her baby toys to her sibling. “Because I’m a big girl now,” she will say. One day she will give up nursing. Because despite what people say, she will outgrow that, too. One day.

Whenever she’s ready.
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Breastfeeding past infancy is full of laughter, joys, and heartbreaking tenderness. I am publishing a series of posts dedicated to the beauty of nursing toddlers in an effort to normalize this healthy and beneficial nursing relationship. But this isn’t just about me – I want to hear YOUR joys. If you are nursing a child who is older than one year, please contact me and tell me about your favorite moments. I will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire. (This series was formerly called “The Joys of Breastfeeding a Toddler.” I changed the name to reflect the fact that we are celebrating women who breastfeed past infancy, regardless of the age of the nursling.)