January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions

January 12th, 2010 by Dionna | 20 Comments
Posted in Carnival and Special Series, Carnival of Natural Parenting, natural parenting, Respond with Sensitivity

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Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!

This is the first monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Since Kieran’s birthday is so close to year’s end, my parenting resolutions coincide with my baby turning two.

Understatement alert: Parenting a two year old is much different than parenting a one year old.

Kieran’s blossoming language and motor skills present new parenting joys and dilemmas. His growing independence introduces another dimension to our relationship and our family dynamics. He is identifying feelings and learning about the emotions and moods of himself and others.

And it is all happening at once. No wonder we all three have occasional meltdowns.

There are a few things I would like to do (or do better) in 2010 as the mama of a two year old. Here are some of my priorities:

6) I resolve to never refer to Kieran’s behavior as a product of “the terrible two’s.” There is nothing terrible about him!

5) I will not freak out if Kieran is not wearing toddler underwear when other kids his age are sporting Dora and Thomas on their tushies. I will not wash diapers forever. (I will not wash diapers forever. I will not wash diapers forever . . .)

4) I will try to see Kieran’s normal toddler behavior as “teachable moments” rather than infractions that call for “consequences.” I will not take behavior personally! My toddler isn’t trying to hurt or inconvenience me or “misbehave.”

3) I will try to remember to see things from Kieran’s perspective, and I will respect him as the cool little person that he is.

2) When Kieran asks me “wat dat? wat dat, mama? wat dat do, mama? mama? wat dat? wat dat is, mama? wat dat do? mama?”, I will react no more harshly than Lois.

(that clip makes me laugh every.time., and I don’t even watch the show)

1) Most of all, I will enjoy the journey – our little ones grow up too fast. Soon I’ll be the mama of a three year old. (sniff)

Have you made parenting resolutions for 2010?

On Code Name: Mama, I share information, resources, and my thoughts on natural parenting and life with a toddler. Please take a moment to subscribe to my RSS feed for free updates.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by noon EST Jan. 12 with all the carnival links. All the links below will be active by then.)

•  To Yell or Not to Yell — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl wants to stop yelling. You can find Lactating Girl on Twitter at @LactatingGirl.

•  It Is All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler’s Compassion Potential — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a comprehensive post on how to help our children develop empathy. You can find Paige on Twitter at @babydust.

• To my babies: this year… — Alison at BluebirdMama has written a letter of resolutions to her children. You can find Alison on Twitter at @Childbearing.

• Mindfully Loving My Children — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has found that determining her children’s love language is helping guide her in parenting compassionately. You can find Melodie on Twitter at @bfmom.

• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions — Dionna at Code Name: Mama resolves (among other things) not to freak out if her toddler isn’t sporting Thomas undies in 2010. You can find Dionna on Twitter at @CodeNameMama.

• Imperfect Mother — Sarah at Consider Eden looks back at the goals she had for herself last year to see how close she came to her ideal — and finds some unexpected accomplishments as well. You can find Sarah on Twitter at @ConsiderEden.

• ResolutionsCraphead (aka Mommy) will work on emptying her grumpy battery more often in 2010. You can find Craphead (aka Mommy) on Twitter at @ahippygirl.

• FC Mom’s Parenting Resolutions 2010 — Kristine at FC Mom is arguably the most ambitious among our group – she has resolutions in just about every area of her life! You can find Kristine on Twitter at @TheFCMom.

• What’s in a Resolution? — Chrystal at Happy Mothering is due soon with baby girl #2! Chrystal resolves to be as fully present for two daughters as she was when she had only one. You can find Chrystal on Twitter at @HappyMothering.

• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions — Lauren at Hobo Mama is surprised she didn’t do everything wrong last year. You can find Lauren on Twitter at @Hobo_Mama.

• Natural Parenting Resolutions — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has found a simple way to take a break before reacting emotionally to a tense situation. You can find Mrs. Green on Twitter at @myzerowaste.

• This year, I will mostly… — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades reminds us that small changes can help overcome big struggles. You can find Ruth on Twitter at @brightravenmum.

• Parenting Resolutions — Darcel at The Mahogany Way resolves to enjoy the journey. You can find Darcel on Twitter at @MahoganyWayMama

• I Resolve to Breastfeed In Public More Often — Summer of mama2mama tips resolves to breastfeed in public to help make breastfeeding normal. You can find Summer on Twitter at @mama2mamatips.

• Moving to Two Kids — Megna at Megna the Destroyer is expecting baby #2 any day! Megna has been reading “Siblings Without Rivalry” for some advice on how to navigate being the mother of two children.

• Use Love — Kate at Momopoly resolves to “use love” in her relationship with her toddler. You can find Kate on Twitter at @Momopoly.

• My parenting resolutions — Mamamilkers at Musings of a Milk Maker has found a parenting class and a counselor to help her five-year-old work through her anxiety issues. You can find Mamamilkers on Twitter at @mamamilkers.

• Talkin’ ’bout My Resolutions — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing is committing herself in public to cloth diapering, baby signs, bedtimes, and book reading.

• Parenting Resolutions — Sarah at One Starry Night is helping her older son heal from time away from her and keeping her newest addition happy while recovering from a challenging pregnancy and birth. You can find Sarah on Twitter at @starrymom.

• Invitations, not resolutions — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick doesn’t have resolutions, but she invites and intends. You can find Arwyn on Twitter at @RaisingBoychick.

• No more multitasking during kid time — Jen at The Recovering Procrastinator will work on consistency and focusing on one thing at a time. You can find Jen on Twitter at @jenwestpfahl.

• I need to slow down, smell those roses AND the poopy diapers — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma wants to slow down to smell the roses and the poopy diapers. You can find Joni Rae on Twitter at @kitchenwitch.

• Resolutely Parenting in 2010 — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile would like an early warning system for “Mommy Meltdown.” You can find Jessica on Twitter at @tisworthwhile.

20 Responses to:
"January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions"

  1. Paige   babydust

    Just loving the carnival, btw. How fun!

    I so agree with your resolutions. I hate the term “terrible twos” – talk about a self-fulfilling prophesy. It is so disrespectful to the important work a 2 year old is doing in learning about the world.

    And, LOL, on the Family Guy clip – that is so funny!

  2. Thanks so much for hosting. What a wonderful roundup of posts. Blessings!

  3. I agree that the term “terrible two’s” is awful. Just like when people say “boys will be boys” it just give them a free pass to misbehave. I hope I can remember all these things next year when Peanut is 2.

    Also, thanks for hosting this carnival! And you should watch Family Guy.

  4. kaila

    Terrific Twos!! I think your list is fantastic!

  5. Darcel   mahoganywaymama

    Thank you so much for hosting this carnival. It’s amazing! I’m so excited to read the other posts.

    My husband loves Family Guy. He knew what that clip was before I even played it.

    I also agree with Terrible Two’s. I don’t think our children are terrible at all. This world is new to them. Every year, and sometimes everyday is something new for them.

  6. Mrs Green @ littlegreenblog.com   littlegreenblog

    Ahhh, the ‘terrible twos’ I hate that with a passion – how judgemental! I love that you have seen this as well and respect your children so much. I see people saying HORRIBLE things about their children and makes me so sad. We too used to call it the terrific twos ;)

    Have a wonderful year!

  7. I love what you said about the “terrible twos”. I’ll be looking to you for inspiration once my son hits the toddler stage.

    Btw, my entry was experiencing technical difficulties but they are fixed now.

  8. Chrystal @ Happy Mothering Blog   HappyMothering

    I’ll have to remember that one about terrible two’s when Zoe turns two in May. Sometimes I already feel like she’s going through that phase. It can be challenging, but I know it’s just her way of learning how the world works!

  9. Heather   xakana

    Lilly was great at age two–yes, there were plenty of “Why the heck?” moments, but it wasn’t until age 3 that I ‘got’ the moms of two year olds ;) Naomi seems to promise things will be different with her ;)

    As for that clip, it’s hilarious. Totally been there. Thankfully, have not been later in the episode when, after Lois burns out and starts ignoring Stewie (who had just decided that his mom was awesome and he adored her so he got clingy) he falls down the stairs and breaks his arm. Lois chose then to wake up, but it was too late and he resumed his quest to kill her. The episode was actually a fairly good message–when kids are clingy, it’s because they think you’re awesome and you need to enjoy it (and them) while you can.

  10. Enjoy the journey! YES! It goes oh-so-fast. TOO fast. I look at my 5 1/2 year old and I wonder, what happen to her “terrible twos”? I remember when we were in it, thinking I couldn’t wait for her to grow up. Now I want her small again. To slow down.

  11. Dionna   CodeNameMama

    Thank you for commenting everyone! That “terrible twos” remark really strikes a nerve, huh!

  12. Joni Rae   kitchenwitch

    I love “teachable moments” that is a great way to put it! And that clip made me laugh. :)

    <3

  13. Lauren @ Hobo Mama   Hobo_Mama

    I love the twos! It’s so fun to hear Mikko talk and create and show me just what a person he is. He always was one, of course, but it’s becoming more and more obvious as I get to hear his thoughts. Thanks for reminding me of all the resolutions I need to have, too — particularly seeing things from his perspective (am having lots of good lessons in that recently!) and not taking his behavior personally (ditto!).

    As far as potty learning, we were going through a rough patch of elimination communication about a year ago where I just thought [cue despairing sigh] he would never use a potty again [one more dramatic sigh for good measure] — and wouldn’t you know it, he got past it, and he’s totally using the potty more or less independently now. It all passes. Even if it’s not this year, Kieran will get the hang of big-boy undies. You’re right not to worry.

    P.S. Thanks for co-hosting! :)
    P.P.S. I’m totally dying to watch the Family Guy clip, but I’m at Starbucks with no earphones. Probably should resist… But later!

  14. BluebirdMama aka @childbearing   bluebirdmama

    Not only is it offensive to say Terrible Twos (and that whole boys will be boys thing too Lactating Girl)…I actually think it’s not even an accurate stereotype. I have found 3-4 way way more challenging.

    Two? Two was fun. Two was delightful. Two was having a baby who could talk.

    I have to store teachable moments in my repertoire. I try to see things from my kids’ perspective but sometimes I really have no idea what they are thinking!

  15. Well, I can’t stand Family Guy (I hate that “hipster” comedy which is just an excuse to come out with rampant bigotry and disguise it as “irony” “hey, we’re meant to laugh at how stupid the main character is for his bigotry [which also gives us a free pass to say some dreadful stuff] it’s just ironic can’tyoutakeajoke?”) but I have to admit, that clip is funny. I know that feeling.

    I resolve to never refer to Kieran’s behavior as a product of “the terrible two’s.” There is nothing terrible about him! Oh god yes this. I resolved that when Bertie turned two. And although I also haven’t quite experienced the “terrific twos” that I was told by one or two AP books would miraculously happen if I continued to breastfeed him ;) I can honestly say I’m glad I made that decision. If Bertie is mardy or whiny it’s because some need of his hasn’t been met. It doesn’t make the whining less annoying, and no, sometimes I cannot even meet that need, but it is certainly not his fault and I am not going to disrespect him by laughing it off as “terrible two’s”.

    And thank you so much to you and Hobo Mama for putting together this amazing carnival. Finally getting chance today to read through the other posts. :-D

  16. Zoey @ Good Goog   goodgoogs

    My little one is nearly two now (I can’t believe it, it has gone sooo fast!) I love the age that she is now. She’s starting to use words, which even aside from the benefits of communication, it’s just nice to hear what her little voice sounds like. I think the challenging thing is giving her all the one-on-one time she needs with everything else that I do in the day. But tantrums (and there are plenty!) don’t bother me in the slightest – they reveal her unfolding personality!

  17. Dionna   CodeNameMama

    Thanks again for all of the thoughtful responses – what a great bunch of mamas I have met through this carnival! It was definitely a pleasure to help coordinate it.

  18. I detest those hipster cartoons, but my husband watches ALL of them, and Family Guy is by far my favorite. I can ALMOST stand it. (OK I sort of love it, but mostly because I’m waiting for Stewie’s screen time.)
    It’s worth looking on YouTube to see Stewie clips, bc that character is genius.
    I like your short but thoughtful list! Thanks for hosting this awesome carnival!

  19. Man… this is really smart! I totally agree with you about the “terrible twos” and whatnot. I don’t think there’s a single moment of it that’s “terrible” just really, really challenging :) And I guess it’s also a commentary on how the parent feels in general. If you’re run ragged and have nothing left to give a challenging two-year-old is going to be just about the most terrible thing imaginable, right?

    Thanks again for hosting this carnival. I’m finding some really terrific blogs!

  20. I do agree with the phrase “terrible twos” and I don’t think we said it that often, though plenty of other people did about our kids. haha. Part of the problem with it is that sometimes people expect the challening toddler behavior to automatically end when they turn 3. Maybe it does for some kids, but not for others.

    If I had the toddler years to do over, I would so do them differently now that I now more about unschooling and how to “do” unschooling. Now I can see that the toddler years are more about keeping them safe while letting them explore. Now, if only I could figure out the “fabulous fours” I’d be set!

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