I also think that correcting a child isn’t the best way to teach manners. My 20 month old will say ‘please’ and ‘Thank you very much’ almost all the time, she also says ‘You’re welcome’. My 3+yr old is even more consistent at using her manners. When we talk to them we use please and thank you etc. Also if we give them an ‘order’ (something they really don’t have much choice in) we don’t say please – please implies they have a choice. Also we rarely ever ask one of the girls to use her manners. We model and that is more than enough. Now other parents we see regularly at best ignore their kids until they hear proper manners, at worst they will lecture or belittle. Of course their kids rarely remember to use proper manners, but how can they when they’re constantly worried about every interaction and what kind of response it will illicit?

I wouldn’t expect manners out of my toddler – he’s too young. But as my kids get older, teaching them manners becomes more important. I would probably tune out or avoid an adult who yelled at me every time they wanted something. I want my kids to be able to function in the world, and I want them to respect my needs as well. That begins by respecting their needs and modeling. And as they get older, I expect some respect in return, at least some of the time.

Jenny – your patience is an inspiration for me. I catch myself singing things sometimes like you do in order to stay patient!