Refusing to “Pick Your Battles” with Children
Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has two very insightful posts on the phrase “picking your battles.” First, she points out that words have power: if you view your relationship with children as being a series of “battles,” then life can turn into on ongoing and unpleasant “war.” Second, she differentiates between working with your child to set healthy boundaries and expectations, versus exerting power over your child (which basically amounts to bullying).
I agree. By phrasing things in “battle” terms, by looking to see who is going to “win” and “lose,” isn’t that taking away from the goal of working with and respecting our kids?
I don’t want Kieran to think that he’s “lost” in any decision. I want to work WITH him. I know that he’s not always going to be happy with me, that’s part of any relationship. But the way I approach him makes a difference – is it going to be “do as I say regardless of what you think” or “let’s see if we can work this out together”?
How do you approach potential conflicts with your child? Do you work with your child to see if there is a way that both of you can be happy with the outcome, or do you expect your child to follow the rules without any input?
And how can you work with your child next time? If you have a situation that you’d like help with, contact me. Maybe we can write it into a post and get feedback from others.
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"Refusing to “Pick Your Battles” with Children"
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