Call for Submissions: Gentle Parenting Successes and Suggestions

July 28th, 2010 by Dionna | 12 Comments
Posted in Carnival and Special Series, Consensual Living, Gentle Discipline Ideas, Successes, and Suggestions, Gentle/Positive Discipline, Guest Posts, Just for Fun/Miscellaneous, natural parenting

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Have you read any of the Joys of Breastfeeding Toddlers series? The stories have been so uplifting; it is good to be part of such a supportive breastfeeding community. The series has been so wonderful that I want to try something new. Some of the most shared posts on Code Name: Mama deal with gentle and respectful parenting, and I’d like to get more input from you in that area.

There are two resources that have been the most helpful to me in my own gentle parenting journey.
First, reading about others’ experiences: real-life examples of challenges met with respect and compassion can be both educational and inspirational.
Second, when I face a challenge of my own, I have always been able to turn to my local AP group for a fresh perspective and creative ideas.

I’d like to provide a resource like that here at Code Name: Mama, so I’m introducing a new series that will feature your stories and questions.

I’m looking for short posts in two areas:

1) Gentle Parenting Suggestions: Don’t let the name fool you – what I’d really like are your parenting questions. Could you use gentle parenting advice for a specific “challenge”? Please provide a concise explanation of the situation/behavior, including the child’s age and any other details that might be helpful (i.e., when the situation usually occurs, any factors that might contribute, etc.).

2) Gentle Parenting Successes: Do you have concrete examples of a situation where gentle/respectful parenting helped you build a better relationship with your child? For example: a time where sitting down to connect lovingly with a child who “misbehaved” gave you insight into the behavior that you would not otherwise have known. Or a playful parenting encounter that turned a potential tantrum into a positive experience.

In particular, I’d love to feature stories that build on consensual living principles or the techniques and ideas discussed in books like Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids; Playful Parenting; Unconditional Parenting; and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.

I am not looking for stories about parenting techniques such as time-outs, negative consequences, coercion, or punishment.

If you have a question about whether your story would fit in this series, please contact me. All submissions should adhere to the normal contributor guidelines.

I look forward to reading about your gentle parenting experiences and to getting feedback from our community.

12 Responses to:
"Call for Submissions: Gentle Parenting Successes and Suggestions"

  1. sara

    rad! so stoked on this…

    i have a little success story – i’ll send it your way asap!!

    xo sara

  2. RedPowerLady

    What about gentle parenting for infants examples? I know in the age group we are in the CIO method is debated hotly. I try and advocate for gentle parenting methods instead and sometimes it helps other and sometimes not. I know for us gentle parenting has worked to have a calm happy baby. Anyhow I don’t think this is quite what you are looking for but if you want a story about how gentle parenting works for us and how I’m sure it helps our sleep time and fussy baby syndrome (or lack of it) then let me know!

    Love this topic btw!

    • Dionna   CodeNameMama

      I’d definitely publish posts for gently parenting infants! Of course :) Please write something up and send it my direction. Thank you!

  3. I own three of the four books you listed so I guess I qualify! ;-) I will put something together and submit it for your approval. Great idea!

  4. Melodie   bfmom

    Nice idea Dionna!

  5. Challenge: My son is more nonverbal. He is almost 2 and today he had a HUGE tantrum in the middle of the grocery store for no apparent reason. When I hugged him he left a spot of blood on my shirt- his 2 year molars were coming in and I had no idea! Once I put some orajel on him he fell asleep in the grocery cart (within 5 minutes!). So my question is how do you figure these things out when your child neglects his previous clues, or refuses to give any indication what is wrong?

    2 is REALLY hard and we aren’t even there yet!

    • Dionna   CodeNameMama

      This is *exactly* why I am so glad we use gentle parenting techniques. Let’s just look at the two possible scenarios here: 1) son melts down, you get angrier and angrier, end up screaming at him to behave in the store. This doesn’t work, so you take him to the car and put him in timeout. Shopping doesn’t get done. He screams the whole way home. You put him in his room and don’t discover the sore teeth for another hour. He was miserable the whole time (and not “misbehaving”). or 2) son melts down. You realize that the uncomfortable feelings you are having stem from the fact that you don’t want complete strangers (who will never matter in your life) to judge you for your son’s “misbehavior” in the store. You choose to ignore said uncomfortable feelings and get down on your son’s level to talk to him gently. In the process of hugging him, you find the blood on your shirt and discover the molars are causing the meltdown within 5 minutes. You give teething tablets (or motrin or an ice pack or whatever), your son calms down, you reconnect with him and move on with your day.

      So the answer to your question is that YOU answered it – two is hard, but taking time to hug instead of get mad is often exactly what you need to do. So often Kieran gets upset (screaming/crying upset) and I have *no* idea what is going on. Usually, if I take the time to talk to him, I will get insight into *why* he is mad/sad/nervous/disappointed and I can help him deal with the root of the problem. That is gentle parenting – figuring out what’s going on instead of just dealing with the behavior.

      Your comment (written up in a post form) is exactly what I’m looking for – you hugged your toddler instead of getting mad at him. *That* is gentle parenting, even though it is often very hard. :)

      • HAHA WIN!! I thought I was still being kind of mean because I said “Collin William. I know you don’t like grocery shopping but I have to get food or we wont have any eats [thats what he calls dinner, eats]”. Then I did what I had to do. When he STILL wasn’t calming down, thats when I hugged him and figured it out.

        Apparently I am a gentler parent than I thought and that makes me feel SO good!!! Thanks for replying!!

  6. Tashmica   mother_flippin

    I think I have just the thing. With a 20 month old there are plenty of new behaviors that need some gentle guidance. I will get to work or play. Depending on how you look at it!

  7. Sara   FamilyOrganic

    Hi Dionna! I just wanted to say thanks for recommending Playful Parenting, I picked it up from the library and it’s such a great read! Thanks so much! :)

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