I Can’t!
Has your child ever gone through an “I can’t do it!” phase?
It’s hard not to either a) get frustrated or b) just do it for them.
I have a post on API Speaks right now with ten ways to gently respond when children say “I can’t.”
Please pop over and leave your own ideas on how to respond, or let me know if one of the ideas has worked for you!
Alternatively, does your child ever use another self-defeating or self-critical phrase? What is it? How do you respond?
Remember to maintain your confidence in your child – respond in a way that lifts her up, show him you believe in him!
3 Responses to:
"I Can’t!"
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Thank you for this Dionna. Was this purposely written for my daughter or just a coincidence? Off to read it right now. :)
I’ve been spying on you ;)
Yes, my DS went through this phase. All of a sudden, things that he could definitely do, he “couldn’t”. Hmmm. For the most part, it wasn’t in an annoying, whiny way, so I was able to keep my calm and step back and assess. With my son, giving him options has been key from a very young age. So our strategy was often giving him the choice (and control) of, “do you want to try again, or do you want mommy to help you?” Most of the time, if I just showed a bit more interest in the situation, he would try again. Sometimes it was a motor skill issue, in which case I helped. But often it was just that he wanted me to see what “hard” task he was accomplishing. Being in-tune with my DS has helped IMMENSELY in staving off tantrums stemming from frustration.
It’s so funny to me that this is a phase that toddlers go through! I thought it was just something my son did! :)