Playful Parenting Book Discussion, Chapters 10-12
Welcome to the fourth discussion of Lawrence Cohen’s Playful Parenting. Today we are discussing chapters 10-12. Questions and scenarios for discussion are below, but please don’t feel limited by our talking points.
Chapters 10-12 Summary
When a child is stuck in feelings of powerlessness or isolation, when she is unable to take the lead in play, when she is unable to make a connection, a playful parent may need to take the lead in play for awhile to get things back on track. Parents can take the lead by giving the child a gentle push, by insisting on connection, by presenting a challenge or introducing a theme, or by making play fun.
Chapter 10 Questions
1) Let’s discuss “gentle pushes” – can you give some examples that have worked for you? When have you noticed that your child needs a gentle push?
2) Have you ever held your child through aggression? What are your thoughts about holding a child who is hitting rather than putting him in time-out?
3) Have you talked to your young child about (or somehow introduced the theme of) differences in people? (Race, gender, sexual orientation, etc.) Do you have any favorite books, tips, articles, suggestions on how to do this? (I personally love the post “I Spy Race” by Arwyn at Raising Boychick. She also has a whole series devoted to books that are preschool-appropriate and introduce themes like LGBT issues, race, etc.)
Chapter 11 Questions
1) Have you experienced periods of excessive dependence and/or independence with your little one? Have you used play to help deal with it?
2) Does your child like to make up games with “rules”? What kinds of rules have you had to follow? Can you connect these rules to something that might be happening in your child’s life?
3) Are you good at turning aggression into play? Or have you ever had a positive experience? If so, please share your tips and tricks with us, or just share that one experience. Let’s all learn from it!
4) Let’s brainstorm ways to make a connection with your child through aggressive play. For example, how would you connect with a child who was throwing toys? Playing “good guy, bad guy” (or superhero/villain)? Using sticks as “guns” or “swords”? Acting like mean dinosaurs (or lions or dogs)?
Chapter 12 Questions
1) What is the hardest part for you of letting children feel their strong emotions? Is it when you are out in public? Is it hearing their tears and screams? Is it not being in control? What do you usually do when your child is upset? What can you do to feel more accepting of your child’s strong feelings?
2) How do you handle your own big emotions?
3) Have you ever handled whining playfully? What methods have been most/least successful?
Stay tuned for a few questions from the last 3 chapters. Depending on the feedback I get in the comments, we’ll either start the discussion for those last chapters a week from today (Oct. 25) or two weeks from today (Nov. 1). Please let me know which date you would prefer. Thank you for the thoughtful discussion we’ve had so far!
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"Playful Parenting Book Discussion, Chapters 10-12"
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