Becoming His Own Person

January 30th, 2011 by Dionna | 22 Comments
Posted in Just for Fun/Miscellaneous, My Family, natural parenting

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We’re two halves of a whole, Kieran and I. We share the same laugh, similar mannerisms, common expressions. We sleep curled up like two peas in a pod most of the time.

I’ve joked on more than one occasion that we share a psychic link. For example, last night I was randomly thinking that we need to buy a fire extinguisher for our house, when all of a sudden Kieran piped up and said “if the smoke detector started beeping, we should leave the house right now.” That happens to us a lot – strange thought patterns coinciding from out of nowhere.

Even though we share such a closeness, a wholeness, I am also watching him pull away. Not in any kind of bad way, just in a natural process of forming his own identity, of exploring his growing independence. He is becoming his own person – and that is a wonderful, bittersweet journey to witness.

The other day I was feeling sentimental and wrote the following (short but sweet) poem:

When will you become
more yours
than mine?

Honestly, I couldn’t decide whether to put that in the future tense or in the past (as in, “when did you become”). The other night driving home from activities at the Nelson celebrating the Chinese New Year, Kieran and I played a word association game. I said a word, and he said the first word that came to mind. It went like this:

Pig — Tail
Funny — Tickles!
Mama milk — Yummy
Car — Bumper
Ears — Face
Mama — Kieran

And my insides went all melty, because in that sweet instant of grin when he answered “Kieran,” he let me know that he’s still a little bit mine.

For awhile.

22 Responses to:
"Becoming His Own Person"

  1. Amy   anktangle

    Oh Dionna, this post is tugging on my heart strings! I really feel it, even though my son is just 8 months old. I can see it happening and it’s so very bittersweet.

  2. Amy

    That’s so lovely! I am sitting here, with my little 3-month old son on my chest, and cannot imagine that pulling away. But I am sure it will be here before I know it!

  3. teresa   momgrooves

    Your poem is beyond beautiful.
    I’ve had that feeling too.
    thanks for sharing.

  4. Amber   AmberStrocel

    I think he’ll always be just a little bit yours.

    But it’s true, they do become more their own all the time. And it is very, very bittersweet.

  5. So So sweet! The poem and the sentiment of the word game. :-)

  6. Suchada @ Mama Eve   mamaevetweets

    Dionna, this post could be me and Lukas (Otto is still all mine, but not for long, as he’s standing and on the verge of his first steps). It’s so bittersweet to see them grow up and do things on their own, but it’s so exciting when I see either of them do something I had NO IDEA they were able to do. And those moments make me appreciate the cuddles and closeness we have so much more . . .

  7. kim

    Aww. Love his association for mama :)

  8. Melodie   bfmom

    Aw. Love the word game. LOVE it.

  9. Maman A Droit   MamanADroit

    So adorable. I can’t wait for my son to start *really* talking so I can have some of those same types of conversations :)

  10. The ArtsyMama   The_ArtsyMama

    Dionna that is beautiful. I’m looking forward to this part of my experience in motherhood with the same excitement and trepidation as well. It is almost an out of body experience to see them as their own person because they are so much a part of us. It is nice to know though that they still need us.

  11. Kai

    Oh Dionna, i love this post, and so know what you mean, Millie-Mae is 14 months and i see her becoming her-own-self more and more everyday!

  12. Brynn   babyinbliss

    I love this poem, but it definitely pulls at my heartstrings. My son is newly weaned and just under three. I feel like there is this dichotomy between my wanting him to grow into a “man” (toddler preferred title over “big boy”) and my wanting him to stay so deeply connected as he is now. I hope when we are pushed past weaning, we may still find that very special connection through stories and cuddles. I already feel a little like he is less “mine” as it were, but I know I will cherish the time when we can explore, share, and create the world together.

  13. Awww, that is so sweet! He will always be yours sweetie, from a mama of 2 boys, no matter how old they are, they never stop having that close connection with their mama, its such a special bond. I hope this doesn’t sound condescending, but I am so very proud of you. I love how God has blessed you as a mommy, Kieran is such a lucky little boy!

  14. Ruth Ann

    No matter how old your children become they are ALWAYS still “a little bit of you” even when they are grown and Mama’s themselves!! And THEN…you get the extra sweet reward of the wonderful grandchildren who are also “a little bit of you”!!!
    I love you!!!

  15. kelly @kellynaturally   kellynaturally

    My heart.

    There is nothing like a mama-son bond.

  16. Sarah

    What a sweet post. I’ve got tears in my eyes. I know exactly where you’re coming from. *sigh*

  17. Janine   AltHousewife

    What Sarah said… Love his answer, and choked up now.

  18. Tat   muminsearch

    Oh, how sweet. Tears here, too. My son is so similar to me in so many ways, but he is definitely becoming his own person more and more (as they do). Mostly it makes me happy to see him grow up, but it also makes me cry.

  19. What a lovely post. So endearing. Bittersweet, quite.

  20. Terri Henry   onelovelivity

    Tears in my eyes reading this – you share so perfectly. I was saying to a friend the other day how I feel my babies becoming more and more independent with each milestone. I cried when I first gave them solid foods as it was their transition from being solely reliant on Mama milk for their sustenance. I loved them walking but was also a bit sad that they wouldn’t need me to carry them as much…it’s all bitter sweet. It’s also an amazing process as I watch my 2 1/2 year old assertively strike up conversations with adults and watch her build her life using me as her roots but growing her own wings to fly. Ah parenting is amazing!

  21. Samantha @ Mama Notes   MamaNotes

    Oh this is so sweet, and you’re right, so very very bittersweet.

  22. Are you trying to make my cry at my desk? I just teared up, that was beautiful.

    I need to go hug my growing-up-too-fast toddler right now.

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