I Am Dad Enough!

May 28th, 2012 by Dionna | 18 Comments
Posted in Consistent and Loving Care, Ensure Safe Sleep, Feed with Love and Respect, Gentle/Positive Discipline, Just for Fun/Miscellaneous, My Family, natural parenting, Pregnancy and Birth, Respond with Sensitivity, Strive for Balance, Use Nurturing Touch

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Welcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!

In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied and every one is worth a read.

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Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In our family, I am papa enough for lots of things.

I am papa enough to prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.

I am papa enough:

I am papa enough to feed with love and respect.

I am papa enough:

  • to snuggle with my wife while our children nurse;
  • to get my wife water when she sits down to breastfeed;
  • to support my wife when she’s telling the doctor “no formula”;
  • to bond with baby when experimenting with new foods;
  • to try new foods myself so baby will learn to appreciate variety.

I am papa enough to respond with sensitivity.

I am papa enough:

  • to pick up my babies when they cry and cuddle them;
  • to change diapers and clothes, to be the EC guru, to be attentive to our children’s needs;
  • to be near my toddler when he is experiencing big emotions;
  • to nurture little ones through tantrums instead of punishing them.

I am papa enough to use nurturing touch.

I am papa enough:

I am papa enough to ensure safe sleep.

I am papa enough:

I am papa enough to provide consistent and loving care.

I am papa enough:

I am papa enough to practice gentle/positive discipline.

I am papa enough:

I am papa enough to strive for balance in our personal and family life.

I am papa enough:

  • to be the go-to parent almost every night so that my wife can try to find a balance;
  • to ask for time myself so that I can feel balanced;
  • to be a caregiver and playmate for my children so that our family functions well as a unit.

I’m papa enough to be the parent that works for our family.

And even if your family does not do things exactly like our family does, you are still “parent enough.” It isn’t a contest, let’s just all focus on loving our kids more than enough.

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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)

  • Good Enough? Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it’s like to NOT feel ‘mom enough’ and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media’s portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like…all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it’s not and that it’s unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless… Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting Emily discusses, with tongue in cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom I am. Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the “live and let live” philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares why ‘extended’ breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama’s family, Dionna’s husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.
  • I
    am mom and I have had ENOUGH
    — A mother has had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.

18 Responses to:
"I Am Dad Enough!"

  1. I love this!

    I really, really love the last comment:

    “I’m papa enough to be the parent that works for our family.

    And even if your family does not do things exactly like our family does, you are still “parent enough.” It isn’t a contest, let’s just all focus on loving our kids more than enough.”

    That’s such an excellent thing to remember!!

  2. Momma Jorje   mommajorje

    ooooooh! I am a sucker for dad posts as it is, but this one is so sweet! I also love that you took such a different approach to the carnival. :)

  3. It is wonderful to hear from a daddy on this, it is a huge misconception that only mothers AP. You just showed that fathers are very much involved, and I also appreciate your thoughts that all devoted parents are enough for their kids. I have long believed that if a parent truly strives to do right by their child, they are in a good a good place.
    My husband is a very devoted father. Recently, he told me that he wasn’t sure if he was an “attached parent” because I do nearly all of the leg work. I told him I have never met a father who is more attached to his kids!
    Thank you for writing this!

  4. I don’t know, Tom…catching your baby in your own dining room during birth sets a pretty high bar…;-)

    Ironically, Steve is the EC guru in our house, too. I’m starting to wonder if the men are just better at it.

  5. Sibylle

    Just being curious here : why did you choose “papa” instead of dad? Same goes for “mama” instead of “mum”, although I think “mama” is more common.

    I am a native French speaker, and in French, “papa” is the word for “dad”, and “maman” for “mum”, and I was just being curious whether it comes from there, or anywhere. Explanation ? :D

    • Dionna   CodeNameMama

      Hmmm . . . I remember it being a conscious decision. I think it might have been that Kieran was making the pre-verbal “mamamamama” noises, and so we started with mama. Then we decided to do mama and papa because we liked the sound of them better than mommy and daddy.

      Nothing connected with French, though :)

      • Do your kids call you mama and papa? We are mommy and daddy and my parents were always just mom and dad. My husbands family uses memere (memay) for gma and pepere (pepay) for gpa due to french roots. Very interesting.

      • Dionna   CodeNameMama

        Yes! I’ll be sad once Kieran gets too old for mama and papa. I’m hoping it sticks :)

  6. Love this! Hooray for Attached Dads!

  7. Andrea

    Hi all!
    In the 2nd picture… Is Papa holding a potty between his knees? I don’t know much about EC, but that seems like a fun way to potty train… A snuggle while you “go”!

  8. Im with Jorje, a total sucker for dad posts! Real men do all of the above :)

  9. Go Tom! It really is all about showing our kids love and loving other parents where they are right now, regardless of parenting style. Love this list!

  10. Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama   hybridrastamama

    Brilliant Dionna! I think you (and Tom) outdid us all! :)

    Clever post but honestly one that a lot of dads need to read. I think dads feel a little uncomfortable with AP because it is so touchy feeling…you know…not terribly “manly” which just drives me insane!

    Thanks for making AP for dads look so practical AND cool!

    The pictures are to die for too!

    Thanks for joining in the Carnival! It would have been missing something without this post!

  11. Thank you for this post Diona! I see many fathers who would not be able to take care of their babies for longer than a few hours. Some because they think that’s not “manly enough”, some because their careers are their top priority and some because the whole concept of being “papa enough” is foreign to them. I love your list and think it’s a great point of reference for new dads.

  12. teresa   momgrooves

    This is exactly what I wish my husband could have read a few years ago when our daughter was just new. He did all those things too and may not have even noticed how much it was or how much it counted.
    I would give this to all new fathers or fathers to be because it’s also a great guide and reminder that there are plenty ways to be integral even when they might feel sidelined.
    I’m so glad you wrote this.

  13. Attachment Parenting is about parenting and the relationship parents have with their children; it’s not just for mothers. Thank you so much for sharing this!

  14. Amy Phoenix   presenceparents

    Thank you Tom and Dionna for this! I passed it to Michael and he really appreciated it also. :)

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