Thoughts on the Final Weeks Before a Second Baby’s Arrival

July 2nd, 2012 by Dionna | 6 Comments
Posted in Consensual Living, Just for Fun/Miscellaneous, My Family, natural parenting, Pregnancy and Birth, Respond with Sensitivity

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A friend of mine who is nearing the end of her pregnancy recently asked me to share my thoughts on how to mentally prepare for the second baby’s arrival. Sara of bonzo, chooch and me has a fun-loving toddler whom she has done much to prepare for the new baby, but she has not done as much to prepare herself.1

Thinking back to those last weeks of pregnancy, the thing I am happiest about was the time I spent with Kieran. I figured that our new rhythm would work itself out after the baby arrived. So with that in mind, here is what I shared with Sara:

Much love to you as you begin these last weeks with you and your son alone. I think that my best advice would be to savor the remaining weeks you have with one child. Mindfully spend special time with him, snuggle up close, and drink in those moments when it is just the two of you.

After the new baby has been there for a week or two and you have a chance to breathe, don’t be surprised if you are overwhelmed by emotion – guilt for changing your son’s rhythm, longing to just nurse and love him like you did before, exhaustion from having to manage the needs of one more – allow yourself those moments of panic and mama guilt, then let them go.

Trust that in a few short weeks or months, you will find a new rhythm. Trust that your son will love that baby fiercely, so much that you’ll have to figure out how to curb that enthusiastic love. Believe that it will come together into something seamless and right, and you’ll have so many moments where you sit back in awe and think – “Has this baby always been here?! It feels like we’ve been a family of four forever!”

Here are a few links you might want to check out before baby:

Second Child on the Way? Are You Ready? — A guest post by Annie of PhD in Parenting. She links to many other resources for preparing for #2.

I Thought I Knew Mama had a link-up for resources for mamas who are pregnant with #2.

What Nobody Says About Bringing Second Baby Home (or) The Greatest Gift You Can Ever Give A Child — A very honest and touching post from Perpetually Nesting.

A Little Bit of All of It Preparing for Birth Series

What resources would you add to this list?

What did you do to prepare yourself for the arrival of #2?

  1. Well, she was still expecting at the time I wrote this post. Check out her sweet new baby now!

6 Responses to:
"Thoughts on the Final Weeks Before a Second Baby’s Arrival"

  1. Julia @ A Little Bit of All of It

    Great timing for me since baby #2 will be here very soon. I’m glad that I knocked out all of the last minute to-do’s (with lots of help from family) so that I can just enjoy our time together these last weeks (or week, we’ll see)!

  2. squeeeeal!
    what a sweet post and fun surprise… thank you so much,
    friend.

    i soaked up every moment before baby and feel so good about that… and the emotional overwhelm that followed birth? check and check!

    xx

    • Dionna   CodeNameMama

      I hope you are feeling calmer and confident now – and I really wish I was closer so I could snuggle that sweet babe!

      • oh how i would love it if we lived close by! things are settling in… slowly but surely…

        xoxo

  3. realmomofnj   realmomofnj

    Preparing my daughter for her brother’s arrival helped me mentally prepare. Feeling that she was ready helped me relax and be ready and not worry about the new baby’s seamless incorporation into our family. I also didn’t let myself worry about what it would be like with a new baby or how I’d balance two kids. I knew I’d figure it out as soon as I had to, so there was no reason for me to freak myself out trying to feel ready beforehand. :)

    • Dionna   CodeNameMama

      Great point! I felt like helping Kieran learn about babies/birth helped me mentally prepare and bond with Ailia too.

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