I Don’t Homeschool to Manage My Kids’ Transcripts

February 11th, 2014 by Dionna | 10 Comments
Posted in Carnival and Special Series, Carnival of Natural Parenting, Just for Fun/Miscellaneous, My Family, natural parenting, Strive for Balance

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Welcome to the February 2014 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Fears

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared stories and wisdom about parenting fears.

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Love Letter Heart Envelope

One of our annual family traditions is to make a list of things we love about each other. Each family member comes up with 3 things that they love about every other family member. Then we have a special dinner where we eat by candlelight before reading our “love lists” aloud.

This might be my favorite family tradition. I *love* it. (I cry like a baby every single year while reading every single person’s love list. I can’t help it!)

This week, Kieran and I were talking about our love lists. He came up with for one for papa – “I love how Papa plays chess with me.” And then he came up with one for me – “I love how you drive me places.”

Me: “You love me to drive you places?”
Kieran: “Yeah, you drive me around to classes and stuff.”

Me: {blink}

And there, in a nutshell, is one of my fears of parenting. I’m scared that I will get so caught up in the monotony, the details of homeschooling, the minutiae of everyday life, the routine of taking care of a household – that I will forget to actually be present in the moment with my children.

Because really, why am I staying at home? Why did I completely switch career paths, if not to relish quality time with my children? I didn’t stay at home to administer a household. I didn’t stay at home to manage my kids’ transcripts.

I stayed at home to create a warm, loving family.

Enjoying a moment of mummifying Kieran.

Enjoying a moment of mummifying Kieran.

And so the next morning after breakfast, after I cleared away the breakfast dishes (but didn’t wash them!), I sidled up to Kieran at the table and asked him if he’d play chess with me. We did, and it was so fun.

And right after bathtime this evening, when I’d normally be rushing them into their bedtime routine, I took five minutes to have a (consensual) tickling, belly-eating fest on the bed. We all dissolved into giggles, and then they settled down fairly quickly to read.

I relished a moment.

We made a memory.

Maybe even one that will make it onto next year’s love list.

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Photo Credit 1: Peter Hellberg via Flickr CC

Photo Credit 2: Code Name: Mama

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

  • When Parents’ Fears Escalate — If we didn’t self-doubt, we probably wouldn’t care enough about our children to struggle with understanding them. But how do we overcome self-doubt? Read advice from Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., guest posting today at Natural Parents Network.
  • What ifs of addiction — After seeing how addictions of adult children is badly hurting a family close to her heart, Hannah at HannahandHorn shares her fears for her own child.
  • Sharing My Joy — Kellie at Our Mindful Life shares her fear that others think she is judgmental because she makes alternative choices for her own family.
  • Building My Tribe Fearlessly — A meteorite hit Jaye Anne at Tribal Mama’s family when she was seven years old. Read the story, how she feels about that now, and how she is building her tribe fearlessly.
  • Fear: Realized — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen shares how her fear of car accidents was realized and how she hopes to be able to use her efforts to overcome the remaining fears to help her children overcome their own.
  • I’m a Negligent Helicopter Parent — For Issa Waters at LoveLiveGrow, the line between helicopter parenting and negligent parenting is not so cut and dried.
  • My Greatest Fear For My Child — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama admits that she has struggled with not allowing her fears to control her and how the reality of this was blown wide open when she became a mother.
  • Proactive Steps to Calm Parenting Fears — Every parent has certain fears related to dangerous situations, That Mama Gretchen shares ways she is preparing herself and her children for emergencies.
  • Homeschooling Fears – Will My Children Regret Being Homeschooled? — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares an interview with her now-adult children that answers a question she had throughout their homeschooling.
  • An Uneasy Truce — Homeschooler and recent convert to unschooling, Tam at tinsenpup shares just a few of the things she tries to keep in mind when fear and insecurity begin to take hold.
  • Fearing the worst, expecting the best — Tarana at Sand In My Toes writes about fears that come with parenting, and why we must overcome them.
  • Can I be the parent I want to be? — Amanda at Postilius confronts her struggle to peacefully parent a preschooler
  • Out of Mind, Out of Fear — How does Jorje of Momma Jorje deal with her pretty steep, long-term fears regarding her son’s future?
  • I Don’t Homeschool to Manage My Kids’ Transcripts — One of Dionna at Code Name: Mama’s fears of parenting is that she will get so caught up in the monotony, the details of homeschooling, the minutiae of everyday life, the routine of taking care of a household – that she will forget to actually be present in the moment with her children.
  • Beware! Single Mom Camping — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her first adventures as a single mom. She laughed, she cried, she faced her fears.
  • Parenting Fears And Reality Checks — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares her three biggest fears as a parent – that most parents share – looks at the reality behind these fears, and offers a few suggestions for enjoying parenting.
  • Parenting fear : to kill a pink rabbit…Mother Goutte tells us the story of a pink rabbit that disappeared, came back, and became the symbol of her worst parenting fear…
  • Roamingsustainablemum considers whether allowing your children freedom to explore the world safely is harder now than in the past.
  • Meeting my parenting fears head-on — Lauren at Hobo Mama had many fears before she became a parent. Learn how they all came true — and weren’t anywhere near as scary as she’d thought.
  • Don’t fear the tears — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger worried that letting her children cry when going to sleep was tantamount to the dreaded parenting moniker, CIO. She discusses what actually happened after those teary nights, and how she hopes these lessons can carry forward to future parenting opportunities.
  • Will I Still be a Good Mom? — Mercedes at Project Procrastinot worries about her mothering skills now that breastfeeding is no longer the top priority.
  • Pregnancy Fears: It Happened to My Sisters, It Will Happen to Me… — Kristen at Country Fit Family discusses the difficulties with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding that the women in her family have had and how she overcame them.
  • Fears — Meegs at A New Day talks about how her fears before parenting led to a better understanding of herself and her desires for her daughter.

10 Responses to:
"I Don’t Homeschool to Manage My Kids’ Transcripts"

  1. You are so right, it is so easy to get caught up in all the things that have to get done, and not enjoy the little moments. But I think its great that he loves when you drive him places… it means that he appreciates your time, he likes being with you in the car, he knows that you are willing to do what needs to get done so he can enjoy these activities.

    I really love this love list idea! I might have to give it a try!

  2. I love the idea of the love list too, and making memories. Sometimes we’re doing something and I know it will be a nice memory. That’s one of the things I like about living in our village, it offers lots of memories opportunities! The park, the local tea room, the ice cream parlour, the river, and of course our little cottage in the middle of it :)

  3. Laura   beansprouthair

    Spot on lady! I keep catching myself getting caught up in the day to day and missing out on the little things. Thanks for this reminder.

  4. Lauren @ Hobo Mama   Hobo_Mama

    I love that you took that fear and turned it into concrete actions. And I love your annual tradition — very cool! I might have to borrow that one.

  5. Tam   tinsenpup

    This is something that I’ve always struggled with. I get so caught up in all the things that have to be done that I forget to really be with them in the moment and have fun. Thank you for the reminder. It’s something I really need to have at the front of my mind.

  6. Momma Jorje   MommaJorje

    What an awesome tradition! And a great way to turn Valentine’s Day into a Family Holiday. How much time do you work on them? I’m quizzing that “Name 3 things…” over dinner would not be enough notice and would just make everyone feel awkward around here.

  7. Momma Jorje   MommaJorje

    Oh, also… Some days I feel like I spend all my in-between moments at the computer. I’m beckoned for something or another every 2 minutes and Facebook is the only thing that I can manage with such short intervals.

    And then I just, on a whim, drop to the floor and wrestle with the kids or chase them or catch the up and kiss / nibble / tickle them like crazy! SO much more fun than Facebook! And if I’m playing with them for 5-10 minutes, even… that is 5-10 minutes that I might NOT have been interrupted every 2 minutes with an individual need!

  8. Tarana   sandinmytoesTK

    You’re so right! My day usually consists of ticking off things from a to-do list. But it is so important to savour these special moments with our kids. They aren’t going to stay little for long. I love your beautiful ‘love list’ tradition!

  9. Amanda   postilius

    I worry about this too. My partner and I both work full-time, and I often feel we’re more caught up in managing our lives rather than living them. My partner is better at engaging our son through play than I am, but it does help me to do what you’re doing here, intentionally creating and savoring a moment out of the humdrum of life. When I make the time to give my son even 10 minutes of undivided attention it makes a world of difference for both of us.

    Also, “love lists” – what a charming and rich tradition, one I would also like to incorporate into our family.

  10. Thank you for this reminder, like others I get wrapped in all the things I need to get done and forget the ‘moments’

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