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March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Vintage Green!

This is the third monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month we’re writing about being green — both how green we were when we were young and how green our kids are today. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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The great thing about “going green” is that so much of it is easy on the wallet. When I tried to think about ways my family was green growing up, all I kept coming up with were the ways my parents were cheap. Here are a few examples of how my mom and dad scrimped and saved while being environmentally friendly (if not consciously so), and how my own family is green today:

1. Buying Second Hand or Accepting Hand-me-downs: My mother and maternal grandmother were the queens of the garage sale. They could sniff out a sale within a 5 mile radius, and believe you me they would turn that car around to get their bargain hunting on. I got some of the coolest – and most hideous – things from garage sales. The best? A few rockin’ record albums (Slippery When Wet, Thriller, and the like). The worst? An itsy bitsy teeny weeny puke yellow bikini that my grandma gifted me when I was about 10 years old. It was an abomination; thankfully my mom didn’t make me wear it to “be nice.” My parents were also not ashamed to accept hand-me-downs, whether they be clothes, furniture, dishes, etc. Our financial situation required it, but it was also Earth friendly.

Today, Tom and I scour garage sales and thrift stores for both reasons: First, because it makes little sense to waste $15 on a shirt for Kieran that he will only wear a handful of times. Second, because that $1.25 shirt at the thrift store is better for our bank account. And we don’t just shop secondhand for Kieran, we do it for everything. We figure that vintage goods have more personality. Plus, we have a toddler in the house (and a clutzy mama) – why buy expensive stuff that has a good chance of being broken?

2. Cloth Diapering: Cloth diapers are the environmentally responsible choice when used appropriately (wash in full loads, line dry when possible, etc.). My parents fell into cloth diapering after I got persistent diaper rash from disposables. They kept using cloth with my sisters because it was cheap. Of course the diapers mom used on us were plain white prefolds with the stereotypical rubber pants. She might have used duck-head pins to dress them up.

Today, Tom and I use cloth for a variety of reasons, but the main two are cost and environmental. Disposable diapers can run parents anywhere from $1600 to $4,150 for only two years of diapers. Cloth will typically run you far less than $1000. We’ve kept our diaper expenses below $500 by buying secondhand at sites like DiaperSwappers. We can recoup part of that cost by either using them again on a second child or by selling them after Kieran is out of diapers. The best part? Cloth is so much cuter now than it was when I was sporting it.

3. Gardening: My grandparents gardened for leisure and to save money at the grocery store. My parents grow a variety of flowers and vegetables for the same reason.

Today, Tom and I are expanding our garden every year as we get more experience. We are also committed to gardening in a way that is healthiest for our family and the environment. There is really little better than eating the fruits (and vegetables) of your labor.

4. Creatively Repurposing Your Stuff: My mom and my grandmother (who was basically my second mother) used to drive me crazy with the way they would reuse everything. My grandma – a product of the Depression – saved bread bags, twist ties, plastic butter containers, cardboard tubes, bits of fabric, buttons, every single Christmas card she ever received, pens, matchbooks, the list is endless. She bordered on the obsessive. And oddly enough, she’d actually use that stuff again. Plastic butter containers would be surreptitiously slipped from her purse to hold leftover fish and chicken from Old Country Buffet (she fed them to her cats). Bread bags would cover rarely used kitchen appliances to ward off dust. Et cetera.

My mom did the same thing. The one thing that sticks out in my mind? Pantyhose and soap. The woman made us save soap slivers. Once there were enough slivers (did she count? weigh them? I don’t know!), she would take the foot part of pantyhose that had too many runs to wear anymore, put the soap slivers inside, and tie it up. Then we would use the foot soap in place of a bar. Ew.

Today, Tom and I are also big advocates for repurposing things that may otherwise be thrown away. Kieran has a couple of huge (formerly pretzel) containers holding his blocks and trains. I reuse glass jars for freezing and storing dried goods like beans and rice. When I freeze certain things in Ziploc bags (waffles, rolls of cookie dough), I save the bags to use again once they are empty. We save containers to make toys for Kieran – different sized plastic containers have become piggy banks and shakers, cardboard tubes are now tunnels for his Matchbox cars, and oatmeal containers are integral to art projects (put a piece of paper inside, squirt in some tempera paint, throw in a couple of rocks, put the lid on, and shake).

I draw the line at pantyhose soap slivers though.

How about your family? Were you green growing up to be Earth friendly, or to save money?

Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Code Name: Mama and Hobo MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated March 9 with all the carnival links.)

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Posted in Activities for Toddlers, Arts & Crafts, Carnival of Natural Parenting, Diapering, Family Life, Going Green, Homey Goodness, My Family, Parenting | 21 Comments »

February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners! This is the second monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. ******

A Love Letter

Dear Tom, For this month’s Natural Parenting Carnival, I am supposed to write about how a co-parent has supported my own journey in natural parenting, but all I want to do is say thank you. Thank you for helping me learn about natural childbirth. Thank you for watching countless natural labor and delivery videos with me while I squeezed your hand, for visiting midwives with me in order to find a good fit, for understanding the value in birthing outside of a hospital, and for calming my fears when I doubted my ability to have our baby naturally. Thank you for walking through 31 hours of labor with me, and for staying in that NICU room with us for the next five days. If anything cemented our bond as a family, it was those long and intense six days. Thank you for recognizing the importance of leaving our son intact. Thank you reading the research on why circumcision is not a healthy decision. Many, many thank you’s for being comfortable with sharing our decision with friends and family, and for passing information along to your friends who are about to become parents. Thank you for helping us establish a successful breastfeeding relationship. When Kieran was a newborn you tirelessly helped me to pump, correct Kieran’s bad latch, and work the little feeding tube in while Kieran was nursing in order to supplement him with expressed milk. You rarely complained whenever you had to get me glass upon glass of water, bring me snacks, or dry my hormonal tears. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it without you regularly hugging me close and telling me I was giving our son the best start. Thank you for helping me feel comfortable nursing in public. How many women can say that a man has helped normalize breastfeeding for them? You have done that for me. You have always been by my side, never to cover me up or make me feel ashamed, but rather to stand with me as one united front against the world. You make me confident. Thank you for recognizing the benefits of full-term breastfeeding. You act as if you have been around breastfeeding toddlers your entire life – our friends may be surprised to know that Kieran was your first breastfeeding experience ever. You make it easy to forget that we are not living according to mainstream standards – I love that. Thank you for welcoming Kieran into our family bed. It has been such a blessing to wake up with both of you every day. Thank you for utilizing our entire babywearing stash without complaint – even the pink and orange tie dye ring sling. Thank you for listening to me read article after article on gentle discipline, noncoercive parenting, and the benefits of giving Kieran the same love and respect we want ourselves. Thank you for helping me research our health care decisions (including vaccinations), for listening to and challenging my arguments, and for making sure that we are making the right choices for our family. Thank you for jumping feet first on the environmental bandwagon with me. The environmentally conscious habits we are creating are already second nature to Kieran. Thank you, thank you, thank you for believing in the value of having me stay home with Kieran. I understand that losing my income was a struggle and a sacrifice for you, and I’m not sure you will ever realize how very much it means to me. Thank you for coming around to the idea of homeschooling Kieran. I look forward to both of us having a part in helping Kieran explore and learn about the world. Thank you for giving me time to recharge my batteries and for encouraging me to express myself in creative ways. Every project I have attempted in the past two years is due in part to you. You help me find balance, and you help me remember that I am an individual on top of being a mama. I don’t say it often enough, but thank you for the husband and father you have become. I hear mothers worry every day that their partners do not support their choices. It is a very rare occurrence that we disagree about how to best parent Kieran, and I am so happy that we see eye to eye. This journey of fatherhood has not always been easy for you. You have felt unprepared at times and ostracized at others, but you keep going, growing, and learning. Thank you for modeling that for Kieran. You are my foundation and my support, and you are an incredibly positive example for others. I love you, ~Dionna ****** Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: (This list will be updated Feb. 9 with all the carnival links, and all links should be active by noon EST. Go to Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama for the most recently updated list.)

Posted in Attachment Parenting, Carnival of Natural Parenting, Family Life, My Family, Parenting | 21 Comments »

February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Call for Submissions

Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

Our first Carnival of Natural Parenting was filled with astounding writers and inspiring parenting stories, so we hope you’ll join us for the second carnival in Feburary! Your co-hosts are Lauren at Hobo Mama and Dionna at Code Name: Mama. There’s a new web form to fill out this month, so please scroll down!

Here are the submission details for February 2010:
heart made from pebblesTheme: Love and partners: How has a co-parent supported your dedication to natural parenting — or not?
Deadline: Tuesday, Feb 2. Email your submission to us by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time: mail {at} HoboMama.com and codenamemama {at} gmail.com.

Carnival date: Tuesday, Feb. 9. Before you post, we will send you an email with a little blurb in html to paste into your submission that will introduce the carnival. You will publish your post on Feb. 9 and email us the link if you haven’t done so already. Once everyone’s posts are published on Feb. 9 by noon, we will send out a finalized list of all the participants’ links, to generate lots of Valentine’s link love! We’ll include full instructions in the email we send before the posting date.

Please submit your details into our web form: This is new for this month, and it will help us as we compile the links list. Thanks for your help! If you don’t want to scroll sideways, you can enter your information at this webpage instead: February Carnival of Natural Parenting participant form

Please do: Write well. Write on topic. Write a brand new post for the carnival. And just a note for this topic in particular — we don’t want the carnival topics to be exclusionary. If you don’t have a co-parenting partner or don’t experience love in that relationship, your story is just as valid as someone who does, so we welcome all perspectives. Please also feel free to be creative within the gentle confines of the carnival structure. If you’re feeling so inspired, you could write a poem, a photo essay, a scholarly article, or a book review instead of a regular blog post (though those are welcomed, too!), as long as what you write is respectful of the carnival’s intent. If you want help determining that ahead of time, please talk with us.
Please don’t: Use profanity of the sort that might be offensive to more sensitive readers, or their children. Submit irrelevant or argumentative pieces contrary to the principles of natural parenting. You don’t have to agree with all our ideals — and certainly you don’t have to live up to them all perfectly! — but your submission does have to fit the theme and values of the carnival.
Editors’ rights: We reserve the right to edit your piece or suggest edits to you. We reserve the right to courteously reject any submissions that are inappropriate for the carnival. Please also note that since there are two co-hosts, on different schedules, conferring over email, that our personal response to your submission might seem delayed. Don’t be alarmed. We also reserve the right to impose consequences if the responsibilities of the carnival are not fulfilled by the participants.
If you don’t have a blog: Contact one of us (mail {at} HoboMama.com and codenamemama {at} gmail.com) about potentially finding you a host blog to guest post. Please write your piece well in advance of the deadline in that case, so we can match you up with someone suitable. But if you really have something amazing to write — why not start your own blog? If you want advice, I find Scribbit’s free Blogging in Pink ebook to be a very helpful and down-to-earth guide, for beginners on up.
If you have questions: Please leave a comment or contact us: mail {at} HoboMama.com and codenamemama {at} gmail.com.
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January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Welcome to the January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions!

This is the first monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how we want to parent differently — or the same — in the New Year. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Since Kieran’s birthday is so close to year’s end, my parenting resolutions coincide with my baby turning two.

Understatement alert: Parenting a two year old is much different than parenting a one year old.

Kieran’s blossoming language and motor skills present new parenting joys and dilemmas. His growing independence introduces another dimension to our relationship and our family dynamics. He is identifying feelings and learning about the emotions and moods of himself and others.

And it is all happening at once. No wonder we all three have occasional meltdowns.

There are a few things I would like to do (or do better) in 2010 as the mama of a two year old. Here are some of my priorities:

6) I resolve to never refer to Kieran’s behavior as a product of “the terrible two’s.” There is nothing terrible about him!

5) I will not freak out if Kieran is not wearing toddler underwear when other kids his age are sporting Dora and Thomas on their tushies. I will not wash diapers forever. (I will not wash diapers forever. I will not wash diapers forever . . .)

4) I will try to see Kieran’s normal toddler behavior as “teachable moments” rather than infractions that call for “consequences.” I will not take behavior personally! My toddler isn’t trying to hurt or inconvenience me or “misbehave.”

3) I will try to remember to see things from Kieran’s perspective, and I will respect him as the cool little person that he is.

2) When Kieran asks me “wat dat? wat dat, mama? wat dat do, mama? mama? wat dat? wat dat is, mama? wat dat do? mama?”, I will react no more harshly than Lois.

(that clip makes me laugh every.time., and I don’t even watch the show)

1) Most of all, I will enjoy the journey – our little ones grow up too fast. Soon I’ll be the mama of a three year old. (sniff)

Have you made parenting resolutions for 2010?

On Code Name: Mama, I share information, resources, and my thoughts on natural parenting and life with a toddler. Please take a moment to subscribe to my RSS feed for free updates.

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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated by noon EST Jan. 12 with all the carnival links. All the links below will be active by then.)

•  To Yell or Not to Yell — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl wants to stop yelling. You can find Lactating Girl on Twitter at @LactatingGirl.

•  It Is All About Empathy: Nurturing a Toddler’s Compassion Potential — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a comprehensive post on how to help our children develop empathy. You can find Paige on Twitter at @babydust.

• To my babies: this year… — Alison at BluebirdMama has written a letter of resolutions to her children. You can find Alison on Twitter at @Childbearing.

• Mindfully Loving My Children — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! has found that determining her children’s love language is helping guide her in parenting compassionately. You can find Melodie on Twitter at @bfmom.

• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Resolutions — Dionna at Code Name: Mama resolves (among other things) not to freak out if her toddler isn’t sporting Thomas undies in 2010. You can find Dionna on Twitter at @CodeNameMama.

• Imperfect Mother — Sarah at Consider Eden looks back at the goals she had for herself last year to see how close she came to her ideal — and finds some unexpected accomplishments as well. You can find Sarah on Twitter at @ConsiderEden.

• Resolutions — Craphead (aka Mommy) will work on emptying her grumpy battery more often in 2010. You can find Craphead (aka Mommy) on Twitter at @ahippygirl.

• FC Mom’s Parenting Resolutions 2010 — Kristine at FC Mom is arguably the most ambitious among our group – she has resolutions in just about every area of her life! You can find Kristine on Twitter at @TheFCMom.

• What’s in a Resolution? — Chrystal at Happy Mothering is due soon with baby girl #2! Chrystal resolves to be as fully present for two daughters as she was when she had only one. You can find Chrystal on Twitter at @HappyMothering.

• January Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting resolutions — Lauren at Hobo Mama is surprised she didn’t do everything wrong last year. You can find Lauren on Twitter at @Hobo_Mama.

• Natural Parenting Resolutions — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog has found a simple way to take a break before reacting emotionally to a tense situation. You can find Mrs. Green on Twitter at @myzerowaste.

• This year, I will mostly… — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades reminds us that small changes can help overcome big struggles. You can find Ruth on Twitter at @brightravenmum.

• Parenting Resolutions — Darcel at The Mahogany Way resolves to enjoy the journey. You can find Darcel on Twitter at @MahoganyWayMama

• I Resolve to Breastfeed In Public More Often — Summer of mama2mama tips resolves to breastfeed in public to help make breastfeeding normal. You can find Summer on Twitter at @mama2mamatips.

• Moving to Two Kids — Megna at Megna the Destroyer is expecting baby #2 any day! Megna has been reading “Siblings Without Rivalry” for some advice on how to navigate being the mother of two children.

• Use Love — Kate at Momopoly resolves to “use love” in her relationship with her toddler. You can find Kate on Twitter at @Momopoly.

• My parenting resolutions — Mamamilkers at Musings of a Milk Maker has found a parenting class and a counselor to help her five-year-old work through her anxiety issues. You can find Mamamilkers on Twitter at @mamamilkers.

• Talkin’ ’bout My Resolutions — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing is committing herself in public to cloth diapering, baby signs, bedtimes, and book reading.

• Parenting Resolutions — Sarah at One Starry Night is helping her older son heal from time away from her and keeping her newest addition happy while recovering from a challenging pregnancy and birth. You can find Sarah on Twitter at @starrymom.

• Invitations, not resolutions — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick doesn’t have resolutions, but she invites and intends. You can find Arwyn on Twitter at @RaisingBoychick.

• No more multitasking during kid time — Jen at The Recovering Procrastinator will work on consistency and focusing on one thing at a time. You can find Jen on Twitter at @jenwestpfahl.

• I need to slow down, smell those roses AND the poopy diapers — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma wants to slow down to smell the roses and the poopy diapers. You can find Joni Rae on Twitter at @kitchenwitch.

• Resolutely Parenting in 2010 — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile would like an early warning system for “Mommy Meltdown.” You can find Jessica on Twitter at @tisworthwhile.

Posted in Carnival of Natural Parenting, Parenting | 20 Comments »

Introducing the Carnival of Natural Parenting

Friday, January 1st, 2010

Happy New Year!!

I am so excited to introduce the Carnival of Natural Parenting! The following information is always just a click away – it’s a tab up at the top of the page. Look up there, see? “Carnival of Natural Parenting” – clickety click, you’ve got it. I’m copying and pasting the info here for your convenience.

My heartfelt thanks to Lauren at Hobo Mama for cohosting and really taking the reins. You rock, mama!

The January carnival submissions are due on Tuesday, January 5. We would love to have you join us!

Please join us for a Carnival of Natural Parenting on the second Tuesday of each month. Your co-hosts are Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Lauren at Hobo Mama.

Read below for more information on Submission Details, Monthly Carnival Themes, What is Natural Parenting?, and Additional Resources.

Submission Details

If you’ve never participated in a blog carnival, a carnival is an opportunity to read and write posts on a specific theme once a month from a variety of bloggers. Besides a monthly theme, a carnival has an overarching perspective, in our case, natural parenting.

Monthly themes are listed below and will be kept updated. The submission deadline is the first Tuesday of every month, and the carnival posts on the second Tuesday.

To submit an article for consideration, please email your submission to both Dionna (codenamemama @ gmail.com) and Lauren (mail @ hobomama.com) no later than 11:59p.m. PST on the first Tuesday of each month.

Please write a new, previously unpublished post for the carnival. We will email you with instructions on posting before each carnival day. Please do not post your article until the carnival date.

We reserve the right to accept submissions based on relevance to the topic and quality of writing. We also reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity (i.e., spelling and grammatical mistakes), but we will never edit the substance or meaning of your article. Articles requiring excessive editing will be returned and may be accepted at a later date.

What is not acceptable: excessive profanity (there is a time and a place, but it’s not this carnival), poor spelling and grammar, personal attacks, off-topic articles, and articles that advocate for methods of parenting or family living that are directly contrary to natural parenting principles (e.g., we will not host an article on the benefits of spanking or “crying it out”).

Monthly Carnival Themes

January 2010: Parenting resolutions: How do you want to parent differently (or the same!) in the New Year? Submission deadline: January 5. Carnival posting: January 12.

February 2010: Love and partners: How has a co-parent supported your dedication to natural parenting — or not? Submission deadline: February 2. Carnival posting: February 9.

March 2010: Vintage green: What sorts of “green” things did you do as a kid (even if you didn’t know at the time they were eco-friendly) that you now do with your own kids? Submission deadline: March 2. Carnival posting: March 9.

April 2010: Parenting advice: We all need a little input. Write a Dear Abby-like letter asking your readers for help with a current parenting issue. Submission deadline: April 6. Carnival posting: April 13.

May 2010: Role model: It can be daunting to parent against the mainstream, but sometimes people take notice in a positive way. How has your natural parenting inspired someone else? Submission deadline: May 4. Carnival posting: May 11.

Bookmark this page and stay tuned for future themes.

Subscribe to our RSS feeds and follow us on Twitter to stay updated on any carnival announcements (Hobo Mama’s feed and Code Name: Mama’s feed; @CodeNameMama and @Hobo_Mama).

What is Natural Parenting?

“Natural parenting” is based on a desire to live and parent responsively and consciously. While no two families who practice natural parenting may define it the same way, there are several principles that are widely agreed to be part of this lifestyle. These are ideals that natural parents tend to hold — even if we don’t always live up to all of them, we keep them in mind as goals.

1) Attachment/Responsive Parenting: Attachment parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting; practice exclusive and full-term breastfeeding if possible, and feed with love and respect regardless of whether it is at the breast, with a bottle, or beyond; respond with sensitivity; use nurturing touch (including babywearing and skin-to-skin contact); ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally (including bed sharing and co-sleeping, responsive nighttime parenting, and no “crying it out”); provide consistent and loving care; practice positive discipline (with no physical punishment); and strive for balance in personal and family life.

2) Ecological Responsibility and Love of Nature: Families strive to reduce their ecological footprint by living consciously and making Earth-friendly choices, such as by choosing organic when possible, using cloth diapers or practicing elimination communication, supporting local economies, and so forth. Parents may choose to find toys and clothing made of natural fibers and materials. Families spend quality time outside enjoying the natural world.

3) Holistic Health Practices: Parents research medical choices and make educated decisions regarding all health care (vaccinations, medical interventions, medications, etc.). Many families choose to use alternative or natural healthcare such as herbal remedies, chiropractic care, natural childbirth, and so on.

4) Natural Learning: Families spend time together, and children learn through everyday activities. Parents try to facilitate learning without “teaching,” to help children ask questions that develop thinking, to develop consideration for others without shaming or training, to give choices while guiding the children, to listen to instinctual cues, to honor emotions and desires, to allow development to take place in its own time, and to engender cooperation and harmony without manipulation. This might include the decision to pursue uncommon methods of education, such as alternative classrooms, home schooling, or unschooling.

Above all, natural parenting is making the choice to develop a deep bond with your children and family based on mutual respect. An attached child grows into a mature and interdependent individual who understands how to develop healthy, secure relationships with others.

Additional Resources

For more information on natural parenting, please visit the following resources:

Please email Lauren (mail @ hobomama.com) or Dionna (codenamemama @ gmail.com) if you have any questions or suggestions about the Carnival of Natural Parenting.

Posted in Carnival of Natural Parenting | 4 Comments »