Code Name: Mama

The Double Hip Squeeze – Comfort During Labor (Guest Post at A Little Bit of It All)

Dionna — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:30:49 +0000

I wanted to share something that felt so flipping good to me during labor, and I did not know about it until a week or two before I gave birth. It is known as the “double hip squeeze.”

The double hip squeeze is a form of pressure massage that has many uses during childbirth. Click on over to my guest post today at A Little Bit of It All to find out more about this miracle move that your partner, doula, midwife – any birth support provider – must learn.

Right now there is an incredible series happening courtesy of Julia at A Little Bit of It All – she’s compiling a fabulous list of resources on Preparing for Birth. You can check out posts on Childbirth Education, Birth Support, Postpartum Care, and more in the coming weeks.

What were your biggest comforts during labor? Chime in at my guest post today!

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June Carnival of Natural Parenting Call for Submissions

Dionna — Tue, 22 May 2012 11:30:23 +0000

We continue to be delighted with the inspiration and wisdom our Carnival of Natural Parenting participants share, and we hope you’ll join us for the next carnival in June 2012! (Check out May, April, March, February, January, and a summary of all our 2011 posts if you missed any.)

Your co-hosts are Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Lauren at Hobo Mama.

Here are the submission details for June 2012:

Theme: Embracing Your Birth Experience: It seems like there is so much pressure in the natural parenting community to have the “perfect” birth, but everyone’s definition of the “perfect” birth is different – and it certainly isn’t what happens for many women. This month we want to celebrate the miracle of birth no matter what it looks like. Pick at least one part of your birth experience that you can hold up and cherish and share it with us!

Deadline: Tuesday, June 5. Fill out the webform (at the link or at the bottom) and email your submission to us by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com

Carnival date: Tuesday, June 12. Before you post, we will send you an email with a little blurb in html to paste into your submission that will introduce the carnival. You will publish your post on June 12 and email us the link if you haven’t done so already. Once everyone’s posts are published on June 12 by noon Eastern time, we will send out a finalized list of all the participants’ links to generate lots of link love for your site! We’ll include full instructions in the email we send before the posting date.

Please submit your details into our web form: This will help us as we compile the links list. Please enter your information on the form embedded at the end of this post, or click here to enter it on a separate page:
June Carnival of Natural Parenting participant form

Please do: Write well. Write on topic. Write a brand new post for the carnival. As always, our carnival themes aren’t meant to be exclusionary. If your experience doesn’t perfectly mesh with the carnival theme, please lend your own perspective. Please also feel free to be creative within the gentle confines of the carnival structure. If you’re feeling so inspired, you could write a poem, a photo essay, a scholarly article, or a book review instead of a regular blog post (though those are welcomed, too!), as long as what you write is respectful of the carnival’s intent. If you want help determining that ahead of time, please talk with us.

Please don’t: Please don’t use profanity of the sort that might be offensive to more sensitive readers or their children. Please don’t submit irrelevant or argumentative pieces contrary to the principles of natural parenting. You don’t have to agree with all our ideals — and certainly you don’t have to live up to them all perfectly! — but your submission does have to fit the theme and values of the carnival.

Editors’ rights: We reserve the right to edit your piece or suggest edits to you. We reserve the right to courteously reject any submissions that are inappropriate for the carnival. Please also note that since there are two co-hosts on different schedules and conferring over email, our personal response to your submission might seem delayed. Don’t be alarmed. We also reserve the right to impose consequences if the responsibilities of the carnival are not fulfilled by the participants.

If you don’t have a blog: Contact us (CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com) about potentially finding you a host blog to guest post. Please write your piece well in advance of the deadline in that case, so we can match you up with someone suitable. But if you really have something amazing to write — why not start your own blog? If you want advice, we find Scribbit’s free Blogging in Pink ebook to be a very helpful and down-to-earth guide, for beginners on up.

If you have questions: Please leave a comment or contact us: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com

Links to tutorials: Lauren, Dionna, and Dionna’s husband, Tom, have written several tutorials for our participants about how to schedule posts in advance, how to determine post URLs in advance, how to edit HTML — all for both WordPress and Blogger users. For these tutorials and more, please see this handy summary post at LaurenWayne.com.

Stay in touch:

Bookmark the Carnival of Natural Parenting page, and check back for future themes.
Subscribe to our RSS feeds: Code Name: Mama’s feed and Hobo Mama’s feed, as well as the shared feed of our Carnival of Natural Parenting authors.
Follow us on Twitter: @CodeNameMama and @Hobo_Mama, plus the Twitter list of our #CarNatPar Tweeters.
Check out our Facebook page and “like” us.
Connect with us individually on Facebook: Code Name: Mama on Facebook and Hobo Mama on Facebook.
Enjoy the community website that grew out of the Carnival: Natural Parents Network.

Show off: If you are a (former or current) participant or supporter and want our delightful button to put in your sidebar, grab this code and proclaim to the blogosphere that you are a natural parent!

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Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, June Carnival of Natural Parenting Call for Submissions. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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Weaning Video Series #1: Preparation for the Weaning Process

Dionna — Mon, 21 May 2012 13:35:07 +0000

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning – Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

When I Googled weaning, much of the first page results were relevant to the British definition of weaning – that is, how to start babies on solids (not necessarily how to stop giving them breastmilk). Then there was a bunch of stuff on weaning puppies, foals, calves. But there is a surprising lack of information on gently weaning human children off of breastmilk. Why is the topic so taboo?

When I wrote about my fears that Kieran had weaned during my pregnancy, I was inundated with responses from mothers everywhere who were also harboring guilt or other overwhelming emotions about their own weaning experiences. A common thread throughout the comments and emails I received was that many mothers feel unable to talk to anyone about weaning. Especially if they are weaning an older child.

And so the idea to have a Carnival of Weaning was born. Weaning is such a momentous step in our mothering journeys – we need to have support, we need to know others feel the same way we do, we need to celebrate the time we were able to breastfeed (five days or five years).

I asked several of my blogging mama friends if they would share some of their own thoughts and experiences on weaning in video format. My original vision was to have one five minute video, but there was so much to say on the subject that it has turned into five separate videos.

My purpose in putting these videos together is three-fold:

1) To get the topic of weaning out in the open, to start a dialogue;

2) To help mothers realize that these emotions we feel are normal! It is normal to feel deep sadness (even clinical depression) when your little one stops nursing. It is also normal to simply feel done and ready to wean; and

3) To talk about gentle weaning and about nursing past infancy.¹

I hope that you take some time to watch one or more of these videos, and please share them with your friends who are breastfeeding – especially if they are under the (mistaken) impression that they must wean their babes at six months or one year.

And thank you to the wise and wonderful mamas who contributed to these videos. They are:

Amber of Strocel.com
Amy of Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work
Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen
Kat of Loving {Almost} Every Moment
Kym of Our Crazy Corner of the World
Lauren of Hobo Mama
Shannon of The Artful Mama

Here is video #1, in which these mamas discuss what they did to prepare for the weaning process.

Stay tuned for four more videos. These moms will share what support they had (or wish they had) during the weaning process, what emotions they and their nurslings experience, how the relationship between mama and nursling changed after weaning, and gentle weaning advice.²

Thank you for visiting the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (and many thanks to Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch for designing our lovely button):

(This list will be live amind updated by afternoon May 21 with all the carnival links.)

On Breastfeeding, Weaning, and One Mother’s Identity — Jessica at Natural Parents Network has been nursing one or more of her children since 1993 – breastfeeding is wrapped up in her concept of mothering and herself. She shares her thoughts on weaning.
two tales of weaning — Aspen at Aspen Mama writes about their countdown to wean.
Wean Me Gently — Tam at Please Send Parenting Books shares a beautiful weaning ceremony.
You say potato, I say bleeeuuuuch… — Anelie at Mindcradle had read the books and knew just how to introduce her baby son to solids—unfortunately, he had other ideas.
A Post Called Weaning — (Not) Maud at Awfully Chipper writes about how weaning her son took longer than she expected.
On Weaning, Pregnancy and Emotion — Shannon at The Artful Mama talks about her mixed emotions as she allows her son, Little Man, to guide her through his weaning process.
half of her life — Staci at Springpatch Jam looks back on her nursing relationship with her first born.
Is it just this After Forty Mom or is it harder to wean when its your last? — Amanda of After Forty Mom shares her emotional journey towards the impending self-weaning of her toddler daughter.
Nursing Limits — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares how she has weaned her toddler down to minimal nursing and her guilt about the decision to do so.
Weaning Video Series #1: Preparation for the Weaning Process — Why is weaning such a taboo topic? Dionna at Code Name: Mama got mamas from across the blogosphere to start talking about weaning – on video. Come check out the first video in a series of five that she’ll be posting this week.
On the weaning of the boy in the middle — Kelly at Witness To Hope shares the lessons of a little one self-weaning at 18 months in the middle of an unexpected pregnancy, after nursing his older sister for three years.
Weaning due to anxiety — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about how she had to wean to preserve her mental health.
When Will I Wean? A Guest Post — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama hosts a guest post from a mama who contemplates when her breastfeeding relationship will end.
On His Own Terms — Momeeezen shares her heartbreak from when her son weaned much earlier than she anticipated.
Our Weaning Story – Sudden, Surprised, and Embracing a New Season — Weaning doesn’t always go how we imagine. That Mama Gretchen shares the story of her daughter’s sudden weaning and how she has embraced this new season of motherhood.
A Tale of Two Weanings — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the similarities and differences of how her nursing relationships with her now six-year-old and four-year-old daughters came to a close.
She Doesn’t Remember — Alicia at Lactation Narration finds that her 6 year old no longer remembers nursing, only one year after weaning.
It’s The End of the World As We Know It — A story about the end of a tandem nursing relationship on Never Mind The Rain: A toddler moves on to a new phase in her life before mom is fully ready.
A Natural End To Our Breastfeeding Relationship — With two self-weaning children, Jennifer at Our Muddy Boots does not know when the end will come, but that it will be natural and without regrets.
Child-Led weaning: It’s Not Extreme; It’s Biological — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children explains why child-led weaning is based on biology rather than social constraints.
6 Years of Natural Weaning in 5 Steps — Jess at miniMum shares how and why she let her first child stop when he was good and ready.

Is This Weaning?: A Tandem Nursing Update — Sheila at A Living Family bares all her tandem nursing hopes and fears during what feels like the beginning of the end for her toddler nursing relationship.
Memories of Weaning: Unique and Gentle — Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife shares her weaning experiences with her two sons, each one unique in how it happened and yet equally gentle in its approach.
Weaning Aversion’ — Gentle Mama Moon shares her experience of nursing and unplanned weaning due to pregnancy-induced ‘feeding aversion’.
Three Months Post-Mup: An Evolution of Thoughts On Weaning — cd at FidgetFace describes a brief look at her planned (but accelerated) weaning, as well as one mamma’s evolution on weaning (and extended nursing)
Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler — After tandem nursing for a year, Melissa at Permission to Live felt like weaning her older child would be impossible, but now she shares how gentle weaning worked for her 2 1/2 year old.
Every Journey Begins with One Step — As Hannabert begins the weaning process, Hannah at Hannah and Horn‘s super power is diminishing.
Reflections on Weaning – Love Changes Form — Amy from Presence Parenting (guest posting at Dulce de Leche) shares her experience and approach of embracing weaning as a continual process in parenting, not just breastfeeding.
Weaning Gently: Three Special Ideas for Success — MudpieMama shares three ideas that help make weaning a gentle and special journey.
Guest Post: Carnival of Weaning — Emily shares her first weaning experience and her hopes for her second nursling in a guest post on Farmer’s Daughter.
12 Tips for Gentle Weaning — Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting describes the process of gentle weaning and gives specific tips to make weaning an organic, joyful ripening.
Quiz: Should You Wean for Fertility Treatments? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries talks about the key issues in the difficult decision to wean for infertility treatments.
I thought about weaning… — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World shares her story of how she thought about weaning several times, yet it still happened on its own timeline.
Celebrating Weaning — Amy at Anktangle reflects on her thoughts and feelings about weaning, and she shares a quick tutorial for one of the ways she celebrated this transition with her son: through a story book with photographs!
Naturally Weaning Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses the gradual path to weaning she has taken with her preschool-aged twins.
Gentle Weaning Means Knowing When to Stop — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl writes about knowing when your child is not ready to wean and taking their feelings into account in the process.
Weaning, UnWeaning, and ReWeaning — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy discovers non-mutal weaning doesn’t have to be the end. You can have a do-over.
Prelude to weaning — Lauren at Hobo Mama talks about a tough tandem nursing period and what path she would like to encourage her older nursling to take.
Demands of a Nursing Kind — Amy Willa at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work shares her conflicted feelings about nursing limits and explores different ways to achieve comfort, peace, and bodily integrity as a nursing mother.
Breastfeeding: If there’s one thing I know for sure… — Wendy at ABCs and Garden Peas explores the question: How do you know when it’s time to wean?
Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Two, Three? — Zoie at TouchstoneZ discusses going from 3 nurslings down to 1 and what might happen when her twins arrive.

It is ironic that the Time brouhaha exploded right before this Carnival was scheduled to go live. Believe me, I had no idea that Time was planning anything about parenting or breastfeeding when I published the Carnival call for submissions. ↩
You can click around to all of the videos from the links at the end of the first video, but I’ll also be sharing each one in separate posts throughout this week. ↩

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Weaning Video Series #1: Preparation for the Weaning Process. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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Tales of a Visit with a Kitchen Witch, a Peaceful Soul, and a Mama Named Jorje

Dionna — Fri, 18 May 2012 11:30:31 +0000

In early May my family traveled about 3.5 hours to visit three of my favorite mamas. I’ve gotten to know these women – Amy of Presence Parenting, Jorje of Momma Jorje, and Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch – through our work together at Natural Parents Network.

We had a blast! We got together on Saturday for a picnic and playtime at a local park.

Ailia and Spencer (Jorje’s son who is one month younger than Ailia) were particularly happy about park time.

Joni Rae did some beautiful henna on Amy’s gorgeous pregnant belly.

Amy’s husband, Michael, graciously manned the grill and cooked us some delicious food. I wish I had taken some pictures of all of the kids playing, but I was too enamored by babies. Here’s another gratuitous cute baby picture for you:

On Sunday, Tom and Kieran dropped me off to spend time with the girls while they went to a baseball game. I ate entirely too much chocolate dip (nom nom!), enjoyed chatting with friends, and Ailia loved being snuggled by Jorje and Joni Rae. She also impressed everyone with her screeching skills.

We also got pictures of both Jorje and Joni Rae nursing, which I will let them share.

It feels so good to have amazing friends that I can connect with online and in person.

Have you ever met “online” friends? How did it go?

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Tales of a Visit with a Kitchen Witch, a Peaceful Soul, and a Mama Named Jorje. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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Putting a Face on Extended Breastfeeding

Dionna — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:23:31 +0000

What Is Extended Breastfeeding?

Extended nursing. Child-led weaning. Full-term breastfeeding. Nursing beyond infancy. It goes by many names, but it’s rare that the general public can put faces to those names.

What is “extended breastfeeding?” It is breastfeeding past the age of one (or thereabouts). In the United States, most mothers nurse for only a few months. According to the 2011 U.S. Breastfeeding Report Card, only 23% of mothers are breastfeeding their babies at one year; another survey revealed that only about 8% of 18 month olds still nurse.¹

With such a low rate of children who breastfeed past infancy, it is a given that the number of women breastfeeding their toddlers and preschoolers in public is even lower. Not only are many nursing mothers uncomfortable breastfeeding in public (no matter the age of their nursling), but the amount of time an older child nurses diminishes with age. After children begin to obtain more and more of their calories from food, breastfeeding becomes more of an act of nurturing than one of nourishment. Consequently, they’re more likely to nurse at home (often before nap or bedtime or upon waking) than out and about.

So of course extended breastfeeding can seem strange to many people in Western culture – we rarely see it.

At the Time photo shoot

To Normalize Extended Breastfeeding, We Have To See It – A Photo Shoot with Time Magazine

I must admit, when Neil Harris of Time Magazine asked me if I’d be interested in flying to New York City to do a photo shoot on attachment parenting and extended breastfeeding, I was skeptical.

“Are you trying to show what attachment parenting really is, or are you trying to make us look like freaks?” I asked. He assured me that the article was not intended to scandalize either topic. And so we packed up on about 12 hours’ notice and made our way to NYC.

Time asked four families to participate: my family (I’m tandem nursing my 5 month old and 4 year old), Jaime (who nurses her 3- and 5-year-old sons), Jessica (who breastfeeds her 2.5-year-old daughter), and Melinda (who tandem nurses her 9 month old and 2.5 year old and also has two older children). They only needed one picture, but they wanted plenty of people and poses so they could get the perfect cover photo.

How will posing for Time Magazine normalize extended breastfeeding? I discussed that question with a couple of the other mothers in NYC, and we agreed: to normalize breastfeeding past infancy, we need people to see it. When the public sees an image over and over, it is no longer surprising or shocking. Look at the breasts that are publicly accepted: Victoria’s Secret advertisements would have been completely scandalous 25 years ago, but not so today.

And let’s get something straight, our breasts should not just be publicly acceptable for your viewing pleasure.

There has never been anything scandalous about extended breastfeeding. We’re just trying to increase its public acceptance as well as encourage other mothers to consider breastfeeding past infancy.

To help put even more faces on “extended breastfeeding,” I’ve compiled some pictures of mamas across the globe breastfeeding their little ones. Thank you to the mamas who sent me pictures, you are all so beautiful!

Enjoy, share, and take a moment to educate yourself about at least one reason to breastfeed past infancy. I’ve created a page devoted to Breastfeeding Past Infancy that has a plethora of resources.

2011 Breastfeeding Report Card PDF; Breastfeeding Among U.S. Children Born 2000—2008, CDC National Immunization Survey.
Approximately 16% of Canadian mothers continue to nurse after one year. See 2009 Canadian Breastfeeding Statistics.
Breastfeeding to at least two years is quite common worldwide. See ChildInfo.org. ↩

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Bloggers for Birth Kits

Dionna — Sat, 12 May 2012 10:00:57 +0000

Before you read any further, please take a minute to think of seven of your mama friends. No really, get a piece of paper and write down the names of seven of your friends who are mothers.

Here are my seven:
Lauren of Hobo Mama
Jennifer of Hybrid Rasta Mama
Jorje of Momma Jorje
Mandy of Living Peacefully with Children
Amy of Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work
Laura of WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Door and
Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch.

Now, think about one of those friends being gone.

Why am I being morbid, you ask?

Because I just learned that in rural Papua New Guinea, 1 in 7 women die in childbirth. I am shocked. That rate is mind blowing to me.

And I want to do something to help.

Bloggers for Birth Kits was created as “a simple initiative to rally bloggers to reach out and help mamas in Papua New Guinea.” The dynamo behind Bloggers for Birth Kits, Adriele, volunteers for YWAM Medical Ships, and she knows how life-saving birth kits can be for the women of Papau New Guinea.

Adriele helped put together over 2000 birth kits last year, and she’d love to do at least that many this year. You can help in several ways:

What can you do?

1. Make a birth kit. Assemble one yourself or gather a group of friends to make a box full of them! Mail your kits to: Adriel Booker, Bloggers for Birth Kits, PO Box 6221, Townsville, Queensland, 4810, Australia. Adriele will distribute the kits in some of the poorest regions of Papua New Guinea on their Medical Ship.

2. Donate for a birth kit to be made on your behalf. ($10 will buy 5 kits!) All donations for B4BK go toward the assembly and distribution of birth kits, as well as maternal care education. Make your online donation here. Please be sure to write Bloggers for Birth Kits in the “additional comments” box so the funds will be allocated properly.

3. Help raise awareness by posting about the cause on your blog, facebook, pinterest, and twitter. (Please use the hash tag #B4BirthKits!)

4. Add the Bloggers for Birth Kits button to your blog. (Find the code on the sidebar at Adriele’s site.)

Click on over to Bloggers for Birth Kits if you’d like instructions on how to make your own kit.

But if you don’t want to make your own kit, you can take the easy way out (like I did!!) and donate.

Here is my challenge: This Mother’s Day, donate $14 to honor each of the seven friends you thought of earlier. Your $14 donation will help Adriele put together 7 birth kits.

If your family does not have $14, then just donate $2. Each birth kit helps!! Donate $2 in the name of one of your seven friends, and ask her to do the same. Each of our small donations will go to help save the life of a mama who does not have access to the same health care that we do.

Please share this post on Facebook, and help save the life of a mama this Mother’s Day.

Many thanks to Boho Mama for blogging about this and bringing it to my attention!

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Bloggers for Birth Kits. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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Kroger Pulling Time Magazine From Registers

Dionna — Sat, 12 May 2012 00:55:29 +0000

Apparently, Time Magazine’s latest cover is too risqué for Kroger.

A friend from Albuquerque, New Mexico texted me this evening to let me know that Smith’s, a Kroger-owned grocery store in Albuquerque, had pulled all of the Time magazines from the shelves. She spoke with one of the members of management and found out that they are not happy – it was not their choice.

It appears that Kroger’s corporate office made the decision to pull the issue from the front registers. Kroger stores nationwide have removed the issue at least from their registers, if not entirely from their stores.

I called the store in Leavenworth, Kansas to ask if they had any copies. The clerk told me that they had been directed to remove the issue from the front registers, but she could not locate them anywhere else in the store. There were also no copies to be found anywhere in two other stores (one in New Mexico, another in Ohio).

What statement is Kroger making by pulling this issue?¹

And by pulling this image, what is Kroger saying to breastfeeding mothers who shop at its stores?

I tried to contact Kroger directly, but their offices were closed. The manager of one of the stores I called declined to comment when I asked him about the company’s decision. ↩

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Kroger Pulling Time Magazine From Registers. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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Briefly – On Extended Breastfeeding and Time Magazine

This Is Why.

Dionna — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:32:43 +0000

Listen to the audio at 96.5 The Buzz – Afentra’s Big Fat Morning Buzz

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, This Is Why.. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

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No related posts.

Briefly – On Extended Breastfeeding and Time Magazine

Dionna — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:02:48 +0000

Quick: flip to picture #3 on Time’s Photo blog. That is me, tandem nursing my 5-month-old daughter and 4-year-old son.

Oh wait – here’s another one on the right that Tom took during the photo shoot.

No, I do not nurse Kieran while he stands on a chair. Heck, I hardly nurse him at all anymore – maybe once every couple of weeks for a minute at bedtime.

We practice child-led weaning. Well – we do right now, but if someday I feel that enough is enough, then I’ll gently nudge him in that direction.

I took part in this photo shoot because I want to normalize breastfeeding. Breastfeeding in public. Extended breastfeeding. Etc., etc. Because breastfeeding kind of rocks.

You can read a little bit about my response to the cover photo and the title of the cover story over at Huffington Post – I wrote a piece for HuffPo today entitled Extended Does Not Equal Extreme.

I’ll be writing more on the subject, but for now I’ll leave you with these thoughts:

Thank you to my friends and family who have wrapped me in love and support as the inevitable negativity started rolling in.
Breastfeeding, cosleeping, attachment parenting – practicing one or all of these does not make any one of us “more mom” than another. We’re all parenting our children with love. Let’s concentrate on that – not on judging the choices that work for other families.
Time wrote, titled, and chose a cover photo for its piece in order to sell magazines. We are not Time. We can share why our parenting choices work for our families without criticizing other choices.
FYI: you do not need to be thin or white in order to breastfeed your child. I wish Time would have done more to make the families selected for the photo shoot less homogeneous.
For the record, the American Academy of Family Physicians has said: “As recommended by the WHO, breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years.“

Oh! One more thing. Thursday and Friday have been spent visiting about breastfeeding with reporters from my local news stations and radio personalities. Check them out:

Seattle’s 97.3 KIRO FM – Ross and Burbank
Fox 4
KMBC 9
KCTV 5
KSHB NBC 41 Article & Video
96.5 The Buzz – Afentra’s Big Fat Morning Buzz

And if you haven’t gotten enough breastfeeding in your newsfeed today, feel free to watch this little ditty that we made when Kieran was two years old. Isn’t he a cutie patootie?!

Code Name: Mama

Briefly – On Extended Breastfeeding and Time Magazine

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Respecting My Sister’s Parenting Decisions

Dionna — Tue, 08 May 2012 09:00:48 +0000

Welcome to the May 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With or Without Extended Family

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how relatives help or hinder their parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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As Kieran’s Tía Tammy, there are countless roles that I have been lucky to assume.¹ I’ve been his Spanish teacher and his sign language student. I’ve been sous chef to tasty vegetable soup (made of all natural wooden-block ingredients). I’ve been a tickle monster and a Where the Wild Things Are reader. But one role that has been a surprising source of satisfaction and gratification is that of supporter of Di’s and Tom’s parenting choices.

Before my sister got pregnant for the first time five-ish years ago (I try not to delve too deeply into the gritty details of Kieran’s conception), I honestly didn’t think much about how I would want to raise a child. To spank or not to spank, breastmilk or formula, cloth diapers or disposables: these decisions never really entered my mind. Then, once that baby started brewing, I found myself learning about all of these alternatives and more. I was suddenly conversing in acronyms and abbreviations that I hadn’t even known existed prior to Kieran’s gestation (Don’t know what BF, WAHM, CIRC, and AP mean? Too embarrassed to ask your local NP mama? Turn to me, the non-threatening aunt!). It was a learning frenzy, and I was there to hear about – and eventually support –the decisions that Tom and Di were making along their path to (and now through) parenthood.

One of the main facets behind my desire to learn about and defend their choices is due to my role as their children’s named guardian. The thought of having to implement their choices as anything other than Tía Tammy makes me sick to my stomach, but I am unwilling to take on that responsibility without being able to continue raising their children in the manner they have determined to be best.

As I became informed about these topics, I realized that debating parenting styles is often polemic. Hearing others’ opinions and considering new research can prove an indictment or a critique of decisions one has made in the past. People are also skeptical of change, and when an entire generation seemingly unanimously supports something – whether that be circumcision, vaccinations, breastfeeding etiquette, spanking, or any other parenting choice – it is a long and difficult road to put those norms into question. Dionna and Tom have faced many raised eyebrows, questioning comments, and downright rudeness for some of the decisions they have made. Being informed about and supportive of their carefully chosen lifestyle has allowed me a more seamless role in my niece’s and nephew’s² lives and has also given me a sense of pride as I’ve discovered an ability to rethink some of those ingrained parenting styles that others often find hard to leave behind.

What interactions between your child and extended family have you been grateful for?

If you could expand that role, how would you ask your extended family to further their involvement in your child’s life?

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Tammy Mitchell is a Spanish lecturer at Clemson University in South Carolina who will soon head to Bloomington, Indiana, for her PhD. She’s into natural parenting by-proxy, as she doesn’t have children of her own, but lends her long-distance support to her two sisters, her brother-in-law, and her nephews and niece.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 8 with all the carnival links.)

Dealing With Unsupportive Grandparents — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, The Pistachio Project tells what to do when your child’s grandparents are less than thrilled about your parenting choices.
Parenting With Extended Family — Jenny at I’m a full-time mummy shares the pros and cons of parenting with extended family…
Parental Support for an AP Mama — Meegs at A New Day talks about the invaluable support of her parents in her journey to be an AP mama.
Priceless Grandparents — That Mama Gretchen reflects on her relationship with her priceless Grammy while sharing ways to help children preserve memories of their own special grandparents.
Routines Are Meant To Be Broken — Olga at Around The Birthing Ball urges us to see Extended Family as a crucial and necessary link between what children are used to at home and the world at large.
It Helps To Have A Village – Even A Small One — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how she has flourished as a mother due to the support of her parents.
The Orange Week — Erika at Cinco de Mommy lets go of some rules when her family finally visits extended family in San Diego.
One Size Doesn’t Fit All — Kellie at Our Mindful Life realizes that when it comes to family, some like it bigger and some like it smaller.
It Takes a Family — Alicia at What’s Next can’t imagine raising a child without the help of her family.
A new foray into family — As someone who never experienced close extended family, Lauren at Hobo Mama wrestles with how to raise her kids — and herself — to restart that type of community.
My Mama Rocks! — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment is one lucky Mama to have the support and presence of her own awesome Mama.
Embracing Our Extended Family — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares 7 ideas for nurturing relationships with extended family members.
Doing Things Differently — Valerie at Momma in Progress shares how parenting her children far away from extended family improved her confidence in her choices.
Snapshots of love — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the joys of sharing her young son’s life with her own parents.
Parenting with Relies – A mixed bag — Ursula Ciller shares some of her viewpoints on the pros and cons of parenting with relatives and extended family.
Tante and Uncles — How a great adult sibling relationship begets a great relationship with aunt and uncles from Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy.
Tips for Traveling With Twins — Megan at the Boho Mama shares some tips for traveling with infant twins (or two or more babies!).
Parenting passed through the generations — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes talks about the incredible parenting resource that is her found family, and how she hopes to continue the trend.
My Family and My Kids — Jorje of Momma Jorje ponders whether she distrusts her family or if she is simply a control freak.
Parenting with a Hero — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet reminisces about the relationship she shared with her younger brother, and how he now shares that closeness in a relationship with her son.

Text/ended Family — Kenna of A Million Tiny Things wishes her family was around for the Easter egg hunt… until she remembers what it’s actually like having her family around.
Two Kinds of Families — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how her extended family is just as valuable to her mommying as her church family.
My ‘high-needs’ child and ‘strangers’ — With a ‘high-needs’ daughter, aNonyMous at Radical Ramblings has had to manage without the help of family or friends, adapting to her daughter’s extreme shyness and allowing her to socialise on her own terms.
Our Summer Tribe — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger shares a love of her family’s summer reunion, her secret to getting the wisdom of the “village” even as she lives 1,000 miles away.
My Life Boat {Well, One of Them} — What good is a life boat if you don’t get it? Grandparents are a life boat MomeeeZen loves!
Dear Children — In an open letter to her children, Laura at Pug in the Kitchen promises to support them as needed in her early days of parenting.
Yearning for Tribal Times — Ever had one of those days where everything seems to keep going wrong? Amy at Anktangle recounts one such day and how it inspired her to think about what life must’ve been like when we lived together in large family units.
I don’t have a village — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama wishes she had family nearby but appreciates their support and respect.
Trouble With MILs– Ourselves? — Jaye Anne at Wide Awake Half Asleep explains how her arguments with her mother-in-law may have something to do with herself.
A Family Apart — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings writes about the challenges, and the benefits, of building a family apart from relatives.
First Do No Harm — Zoie at TouchstoneZ asks: How do you write about making different parenting choices than your own family experience without criticizing your parents?
Military Family Separation — Amy Willa shares her feelings about being separated from extended family during her military family journey.
Forging A Village In The Absence Of One — Luschka from Diary of a First Child writes about the importance of creating a support network, a village, when family isn’t an option.
Respecting My Sister’s Parenting Decisions — Dionna at Code Name: Mama‘s sister is guest posting on the many roles she has as an aunt. The most important? She is the named guardian, and she takes that role seriously.
Multi-Generational Living: An Exercise in Love, Patience, and Co-Parenting — Boomerang Mama at The Other Baby Book shares her experience of moving back in with Mom and Dad for 7 months, and the unexpected connection that followed.
A Heartfelt Letter to Family: Yes, We’re Weird, but Please Respect Us Anyway — Sheila of A Living Family sincerely expresses ways she would appreciate her extended family’s support for her and her children, despite their “weird” parenting choices.
The nuclear family is insane! — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle is grateful for family support, wishes her Mum lived closer, and feels an intentional community would be the ideal way to raise her children.

My interaction with Ailia as been limited, as I haven’t spent as much time with her. My first non-newborn interaction with her, though, was memorable, as she has managed to poop on me through a diaper, pee on me once said diaper was off, and spit up on my dress – all within about five minutes of my arrival. This was all cause for much giggling and my full induction into the role of Tía Tammy Part Deux (literally and figuratively). ↩
English really needs to get on an all-encompassing term (like sobrinos in Spanish) for niece and nephew. Footnote P.S. Why do we always say nieces and nephews instead of vice versa? ↩

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