Code Name: Mama

Giveaway: Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum Care — 2 Winners $55 ARV {3.4; US}

Dionna — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:23:55 +0000

This is a joint giveaway with Code Name: Mama, Hobo Mama, and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only. Please find the section marked “Win it!” for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

This is a combined giveaway of two gifts from Earth Mama Angel Baby: our first-prize winner will receive the Mama’s Postpartum Recovery Essentials Bundle, a $49 set; a second-prize winner will receive the Postpartum Bath Herbs from the bundle, available for $5.95. Two lucky readers will win one gift each, making this giveaway’s total value $55!

Earth Angel Mama Baby’s postpartum products are gentle and organic herbal blends that help soothe you back into health after a birth.

From our reviewer, Dionna at Code Name: Mama:

About Earth Mama Angel Baby

Earth Mama Angel Baby’s (EMAB) beliefs about pregnancy and birth will resonate with my readers – they are guided by a “sincere faith in the natural process of birthing babies.” Their products are created to support mamas and babies naturally with nature’s gifts. EMAB uses “the highest-quality, certified-organic or organically grown herbs and oils for our teas, bath herbs, gentle handmade soaps, salves, lotions and massage oils. [Their] products are 100% toxin-free, cruelty-free, vegan, and free from all artificial preservatives, fragrances and dyes.” EMAB does everything it can to “honor the earth and her valuable resources . . . . [They] use only eco-friendly recyclable or reused/reusable packaging and packing materials.” They have even won an award from the Business Recycling Award Group for their green practices.

What does all that mean for you? It means that Earth Mama Angel Baby is committed to creating products that are good for you and your baby. I happen to know one of the mamas who works with EMAB – Alicia of The Soft Landing – and I am confident that she and the rest of EMAB are genuinely passionate about mamas and babies!

Postpartum Recovery Essentials Bundle

“Mama’s Postpartum Recovery Essentials safely and naturally addresses all the unpleasantries a new mama might be experiencing, like prenatal and postpartum hemorrhoids, episiotomies, cramping, postpartum vaginal swelling and bruising.”

The bundle includes Mama Bottom Balm, New Mama Bottom Spray, Postpartum Bath Herbs, Happy Mama Spray, and Monthly Comfort Tea. I felt so pampered with these products!

Mama Bottom Balm

Of everything included in the bundle, this was my absolute favorite. Admittedly, Ailia’s birth was pretty easy on my body. I had no tears and only minor bruising and skid marks. For those of you who have it worse (and I remember how bad it can be from my extensive bruising, swelling and skid marks with Kieran!), the balm helps everything: prenatal and postpartum hemorrhoids, postpartum vaginal swelling and bruising, episiotomies. My postpartum pain was made infinitely better when I used the Mama Bottom Balm. It soothes and cools your nether regions and promotes healing.

Mama Bottom Balm contains an organic olive oil base infused with healing organic herbs – St. Johns wort, yarrow, Witch hazel, Calendula, Shea butter, and more. You can keep it in the fridge for added coolness and relief.

Mama Bottom Balm should be on every expectant mama’s must have list!

New Mama Bottom Spray

The bottom spray is also soothing, but it is a much lighter version of the balm. The spray is made with all-natural ingredients, including astringent witch hazel, antibacterial lavender, and cooling peppermint pure essential oils. I kept it on my toilet and sprayed it on each time I used the bathroom.

Bonus – both the spray and the balm should also work on diaper rash for little ones!

Postpartum Bath Herbs

Here’s a tip: give yourself a day or two after birth, then put a kid’s floatie on the bottom of the tub, run some hot water, and throw in one or two of EMAB’s bath herb pads. Climb in, sit back, and say ahhhhhhh.

“100% Organic Postpartum Bath Herbs is a soothing, comforting blend includes salts, oatmeal and organic herbs that have historically been used to support postpartum women. Wound-healing, styptic and antibacterial herbs and salts help reduce swelling and speed healing of vaginal soreness, episiotomy and perineal bruising. Great for both prenatal and postpartum hemorrhoids too.”

Happy Mama Spray

Happy Mama Spray is a light, refreshing spray that will surely be a hit to both pregnant and new mamas, as well as their little ones. The blend includes lime and ginger pure essential oils, and “there are no chemical fixatives to make the fragrance last an artificially long time.” That means you can put a spritz on your wrist (or your toddler’s) for a quick pick-me-up and inhale without worrying about artificial ingredients.

I’ve often used this spray to freshen up our bedroom and sheets – it makes climbing under the covers that much more enjoyable.

Monthly Comfort Tea

This tea’s “100% Organic and Certified Kosher blend [was] created to jumpstart recovery immediately after childbirth, and for “that time of the month” when hormones are raging and your uterus and you could use some extra care!”

The flavor is delicious! It contains, Cinnamon bark, Lemon Balm, Nettles, Alfalfa, and Ginger. The combination is made to both help ease cramping and chase away the baby blues.

Take some of this into that bathtub for a little slice of heaven.

A Few More Thoughts on the Postpartum Recovery Essentials Bundle

Ailia’s birth was much easier on me physically than Kieran’s birth, and the same was true for my postpartum period. I’m sure part of that was because of the differences in their births – Ailia’s labor and delivery were at home (Kieran’s was at a birth center with a medically-minded midwife); my labor was shorter with Ailia, and I felt better prepared; Kieran ended up spending 5 days in the NICU, Ailia has been at home from the beginning. But another difference was that with Kieran, I did not have the benefit of any of the natural herbs and oils found in the EMAB products. The balm, spray, and bath herbs helped me heal faster, and the Happy Mama Spray and tea helped me emotionally. (Well, the placenta smoothies also played a big role!)

This set would make a wonderful gift for any expectant mama, but if your budget is more limited, I’d highly suggest the Mama Bottom Balm.

From our reviewer, Lauren at Hobo Mama:

I received the Postpartum Bath Herbs to try, just before the birth of my second son, Alrik.

After the birth of my firstborn, Mikko, I felt very tender down there, both physically and emotionally, even though I hadn’t sustained much damage. I knew I wanted to have sitz bath herbs on hand, because soaking in a warm, herb-steeped tub every day with newborn Mikko helped heal me in both aspects. I believed the warm water and gentle herbal concoction the midwives had recommended sped blood flow to the tender area, and knowing I was doing something helped reassure me that everything would knit back together in time. (It did.)

With Alrik’s pregnancy, I was a little frantic when his birth was approaching and I didn’t have any herbs ready for postpartum use. Earth Mama Angel Baby to the rescue!

These pads were really interesting. I had thought you’d just use them in the bath, and you could — but the directions actually recommend putting them right against your skin. I liked that thought, having the beneficial herbs making direct contact, so my sister-in-law helped brew some up for me in the first few days after the birth.

Once again, I didn’t have extensive damage, but I did have one unfortunately jagged tear that required stitching. Plus, everything just felt a bit out of place for awhile, so I was glad to have time to rest and heal.

You steep the herbal pads like you would tea bags, and then you can either use them slightly cooled, or freeze them to give your bottom even more of an “ahh” sensation.

The organic, herbal ingredients were all that my midwife would have suggested, in one easy purchase:

Sea salt, Avena sativa (organic oatmeal) kernel meal, Achillea millefolium (organic yarrow) flower, Hamamelis virginiana (organic witch hazel) leaf, Plantago major (organic plantain) leaf, Calendula officinalis (organic calendula) flowers

My one complaint was that the pads are very delicate, particularly once they’ve been steeped. I tried to reuse one that had been in my underpants by tossing it into the bath, and it immediately burst apart. That was all right — there’s nothing wrong with an herb-strewn bath (except for the cleanup). You have to be extremely gentle not to burst the pads when handling them, so warn any postpartum helpers.

Other than that, I enjoyed them a lot and liked the convenience of bundled and beneficial herbs in pad form.

BUY IT!

You can order the Postpartum Recovery Essentials Bundle, or any of EMAB’s pampering products at their website. You can also find EMAB products on Amazon.

Besides postpartum care, Earth Mama Angel Baby also offers lines of products for pregnancy, breastfeeding, and baby, to pamper yourself and your little ones in all stages of birth and babyhood.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win one of these two products from Earth Mama Angel Baby, enter by leaving a comment and using our new Rafflecopter system below.

One winner will receive the Postpartum Recovery Essentials Bundle; a second winner will receive the Postpartum Bath Herbs. Contest is open to UNITED STATES mailing addresses only.

MANDATORY ENTRY: Link to one product you would like to try from Earth Mama Angel Baby. You must enter your name and email address in the Rafflecopter entry system for your entry to count, after leaving a comment on this blog post.

Leave a valid email address so we can contact you if you win. Email addresses in Rafflecopter are not made publicly visible. Please leave the same valid email address in your mandatory comment so we can verify entries. If on Blogger, you can enter it like this to foil spambots: mail {at} naturalparentsnetwork {dot} com

This is a joint giveaway with Code Name: Mama, Hobo Mama, and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only, and we’ll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy all three sites!

BONUS ENTRIES:
See the Rafflecopter entry system for bonus entries to increase your chance of winning after completing the mandatory entry. All bonus entries are entered directly into Rafflecopter. Just click “Click for instructions” for guidance and then “I did this” — any comments or extra information such as URLs can be entered into the “Extra Info” box. Give it a try or visit the

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest closes March 5, 2012 at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time.

Disclosure: Our reviewers received a sample product for review purposes.
Amazon links and some Earth Mama Angel Baby links are affiliate links.
We try to seek out only products we think you would find
relevant and useful to your life as a natural parent.
If we don’t like a product, we won’t be recommending it to you.
See our full disclosure policy here.

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Giveaway: Earth Mama Angel Baby Postpartum Care — 2 Winners $55 ARV {3.4; US}. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Dealing with Our Own Anxiety

Dionna — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:00:35 +0000

During my third trimester of pregnancy, our 3.5 year old had a renewed bout of separation anxiety. We were able to successfully address it by focusing on three areas: learning to respect everyone’s needs, providing reassurance, and dealing with our own anxiety. Today I’m sharing how we dealt with our own anxiety, as well as the end result (read the first part of this story here). Also, be sure to check out 13 Ideas to Gently Manage Separation Anxiety over at Natural Parents Network for more tips.

Dealing with Our Own Anxiety

Recently, we had to help Kieran work through his separation anxiety so that Tom and I could enjoy some couple time. Our three biggest priorities were to help him recognize that everyone in our family has needs, to reassure him that he would be safe and loved with his caregiver while we were gone, and to deal with our own discomfort in leaving him upset. This last part was the hardest for us – coming to terms with the fact that we would have to leave Kieran crying. I’d already talked to my friend, and she was comfortable holding a struggling Kieran when we left. We talked about it with Kieran in advance by letting him know that being sad was ok, and that our friend would hold him gently on her lap if he needed some help letting us go. We talked about both how much she loves him and how much we love him.

My one regret in all of this is that my friend and I talked about our drop-off plan – I would bring him in, love on him, then hand him over, leaving regardless of whether he was sad. On the day of our date, we decided that it might be easier if Tom dropped him off, but I failed to tell him not to prolong the departure. Tom ended up staying for over 30 minutes trying to comfort Kieran. We feel like that made it much more difficult than it already was.

Wisdom from Amy of Peace 4 Parents

Since our children look to us as an example of how to handle situations and also as an indicator of how safe or unsafe their surroundings are, it is important to simply be aware of how we feel. We don’t need to be hard on ourselves if we feel very sad about separating from our child, nor do we need to beat ourselves up for feeling like we want some time away. Uninterrupted parenting doesn’t work for everyone, and it may actually be detrimental for others. Rest in the fact that you have arranged for trustworthy childcare and you can connect with them at any time to make sure all is well.

Some straightforward ways to deal with our own anxiety include being honest with ourselves, allowing ourselves to feel, breathing into the sensations of our bodies (otherwise known as emotions) while we consciously relax, making choices deliberately through considering potential options and outcomes, and choosing to appreciate even the tough moments. If you feel anxious in preparing for the separation it may help to go over step by step how you will be separating, what you have in place to make it smooth for everyone, the benefits of having some time apart, and what you appreciate about being together. Mentally rehearse any potential scenarios you can imagine for the separation. If you are afraid it won’t go well, imagine how it could or how you can get through the tears. Allow yourself to dream or think positive a bit; it can help.

Also, while you are with your child in the days leading up to the separation, spend some time soaking up the love you share. While you are away from your child or if you feel tense, instead of focusing at length on the stress of being apart, bring the positive experiences to mind so you can recall the joy you have together and will have again soon.

The Result

After Tom left that evening, Kieran did struggle in our friend’s arms for a few seconds. He then sat on her lap and cried for less than 5 minutes and snuggled with her for another 20 minutes. Then he was fine playing with the two boys. Tom and I started out our evening tense and uncomfortable, but we ended up enjoying our dinner out and time alone. We anticipated a chilly reception from Kieran at pick-up, but we were pleasantly surprised when he immediately ran over and kissed both of us.

The next week my friend and I made arrangements for Kieran to come to her house on Tuesday and her boys to come to our house on Thursday. When we talked about it with Kieran, he did cry again and say that he would not go and would hold on to the table. Tom and I both stayed very calm; we talked about how much fun he has there, how we try to respect his needs to stay with us most of the time, and how mama needed some time alone today.

After about 10-15 minutes of the same routine on Tuesday morning, I said “why don’t you just get in the car and see how you feel.” That made him cry harder, and Tom said “we could just go in and see what they’re doing.” Kieran chimed in (very tearfully) with “and we can see how I feel.” We also put his watch on him and told him exactly what time I was coming. I said that a few minutes before that time, I would call and see if he really wanted me to come or if he wanted more time to play – he told me later that he really liked having the option of having me come get him. (He did have me come at the appointed time, of course I stayed and chatted with my friend for another hour and then Kieran didn’t want to leave!)

He did scream and cry when Tom left and my friend had to hold him, but he was over it in less than two minutes. And the best part? In the car on the way home, he told me “the next time you need time to yourself, I’ll just go over there, it’s ok.”

I consider that to be a success!

Has your child ever gone through a later phase of separation anxiety? How did you gently respond to it?

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Dealing with Our Own Anxiety. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Wordless Wednesday: Colorful Ailia

Dionna — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:28:05 +0000

If you know me, you know I love color. Which is why this dress my friend Melody got for Ailia and the Babylegs from my friend Sarah are perfect!

I made the rainbow circle garland from paint chips while I was pregnant. I hung it in the dining room so that I could see and enjoy it during labor. Not only did it make me happy, but now Ailia loves it – she could spend all day staring at it. When she’s upset, we can often help calm her down by bouncing her so that she can gaze at the garland. Or the ceiling fan. Or the rainbow chakra flags I won from Visionwise in a giveaway hosted by Becoming Crunchy and Hybrid Rasta Mama.

I love this girl!

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Wordless Wednesday: Colorful Ailia. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Providing Reassurance

Dionna — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:00:29 +0000

During my third trimester of pregnancy, our 3.5 year old had a renewed bout of separation anxiety. We were able to successfully address it by focusing on three areas: learning to respect everyone’s needs, providing reassurance, and dealing with our own anxiety. Today I’m sharing how we reassured Kieran (read the first part of this story here). Also, be sure to check out 13 Ideas to Gently Manage Separation Anxiety over at Natural Parents Network for more tips.

Providing Reassurance

As I explained in the previous post, Tom and I were helping Kieran work through separation anxiety so that we could have some couple time before our second child was born. We started by talking about how we all have needs, and one of our family’s values was to respect the needs of others.

When we talked about our needs, Kieran told us that he was scared to be away from a parent. We talked a lot about how he had always been safe at our friend’s house, that she loved him just like we do, and that we would only be gone for a certain amount of time.¹ All three of us (me, Tom, and Kieran) offered suggestions that might make Kieran more comfortable – he could wear a watch and we would give him a set time that we would return, we could call to check in with him, he could bring something special along, etc. Ultimately, he chose to bring one of his superhero costumes and his watch.

Particularly frustrating to us was that every time we initially brought the subject up, Kieran would adamantly refuse to discuss it; he said that he would “hang on to the table leg so that he would not go to the car.” We recognized that it was overwhelming to Kieran to think about the enormity of being dropped off at our friend’s house, so we started talking about doing things just one step at a time. We will get in the car, we will walk into her house with you, we will leave for a bit, you will play with your friends, we will pick you up in two hours. Similarly, on the evening of our date, we focused on only one step at a time (even though Kieran knew what was ultimately going to happen).

Wisdom from Amy of Peace 4 Parents

After you have determined everyone’s needs, how to meet them, and decided that you will meet them – resistance may arise. Resistance can be worked through, though! As you provide support to yourself, partner, and child, consider what helps everyone through emotional upheaval and what may be at the root of the anxiety. If the child is afraid of being apart from you, can you include a picture of yourself or another comfort, let her know you will be back, and take a few moments to imagine with her what it will be like when you are together again (smiles, hugs, and all)? If your child isn’t sure she will enjoy being with someone else, can you help her prepare by getting to know the caregiver and spending time together with the caregiver before the separation? If she has special interests, can you discuss those with the caregiver so they may explore them together during the separation?

You and your partner may need reassurance, too. Consider making a list of what has not worked in the past regarding separations and what may work now. You can even brainstorm questions like “If the separation were to go really well, what would that look like?” or “How many ideas can I come up with to help support the whole family in experiencing separation in a new way?” If you need assistance, explore options with like-minded parents, family, or someone who provides parenting support.

For the record, we have no doubts or fears that Kieran would ever be unsafe with this caregiver. We trust her implicitly. ↩

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Providing Reassurance. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Learning to Respect Everyone’s Needs

Dionna — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:00:28 +0000

During my third trimester of pregnancy, our 3.5 year old had a renewed bout of separation anxiety. We were able to successfully address it by focusing on three areas: learning to respect everyone’s needs, providing reassurance, and dealing with our own anxiety. Today I’m sharing how we talked with Kieran about needs (read the first part of this story here). Also, be sure to check out 13 Ideas to Gently Manage Separation Anxiety over at Natural Parents Network for more tips.

Learning to Respect Everyone’s Needs

Parents who practice attachment/natural parenting often make their children’s needs a higher priority than their own – to their own detriment. Tom and I are guilty of that at times, and we were hoping to fulfill one of our needs – spending quality time together as a couple – before our second child was born. Kieran had been going through a renewed bout of separation anxiety and adamantly refused to be left with a close family friend so that Tom and I could go on a date. Tom and I were frustrated; we felt like Kieran was disconnected from considering anyone else’s needs but his own.

A week prior to our scheduled date night, we started gently introducing the idea to Kieran. Initially he responded in the way he had been – shutting down, saying “no,” and walking away. When that happened, we would gently let him know that we could see his discomfort and we wanted to help him through it, but we also asked him to understand that mama and papa have things that they wanted to do too, and we asked him to work toward a compromise with us.

Eventually he stopped shutting down and started to get sad and argue with us. He told us he was scared and that he did not like to stay anywhere without us. Again we addressed his needs (wanting to feel safe, feeling more comfortable with a parent) and our needs (we wanted to spend time together as a couple). He acknowledged that it makes him feel good when we take care of his needs, and he also recognized that it is important for families to help each other meet everyone’s needs.

Finally, he did agree to give date night a try, although there were many tears shed in the process.

Wisdom from Amy of Peace 4 Parents

Separation anxiety speaks to feeling a sense of anxiety when either pondering or experiencing the reality of being separated from a source of well-being. For kids, this often mean parents. It can also mean other loving caregivers, special toys, or really intriguing experiences. As parents we can get our minds all wrapped up in how to avoid this anxiety. While working to honor the needs of the child may sometimes include avoiding separation all together, it can also be helpful to work through the anxiety by learning to respect everyone’s needs.

You can start exploring how to respect everyone’s needs by figuring out what you and your child’s non-negotiable needs really are. By non-negotiable needs I mean those, which when fulfilled, honor your innermost values. For you, this may be some time to yourself or with your partner. It may also include knowing your child is in safe hands. For your child it may be a loving caregiver who can be with him compassionately as he expresses sadness at your separation and provides fun activities when he’s ready.

Getting to know ourselves a little deeper helps open the space to respect our own needs, as well as our child’s. Asking yourself simple questions through inquiry is a straightforward way to start the process that may also be helpful. Through using the information we learn about ourselves, we can more fully model the ability to respect our needs, which provides a real life example to our children of self-respect and self-care.

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Learning to Respect Everyone’s Needs. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Sunday Surf: January Edition 2.0

Dionna — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:00:45 +0000

From the Volunteers at Natural Parents Network

My friend, Amy of Toddler in Tow, has decided to open her own shop this spring. She makes beautiful diapers and other baby necessities, and I encourage everyone to check out her work. You can find her at Silly Bear Handmade, where she has unofficially launched – expect great things!
Join us for the February Carnival of Natural Parenting. Our topic is “Respectful Interactions with Other Parents,” and submissions are due February 7.
Did you know that every piece of plastic ever created STILL exists? It’s true! Christy at Adventures in Mommyhood: Mommy Outnumbered has created a pledge to sign – she wants you – that’s YOU – to commit to using less plastics. Will you sign?

Around the Blogosphere

I’m totally making this French bread today, thank you Crunchy Con Mommy!
I might also have to make some of these awesome upcycled bottle cap push pins courtesy of Manic Mrs. Stone D.I.Y. Cupcake. How cute are these?!
I remember awhile ago, my dad – a typical stern, emotionless (ahem – rather angry) military man, had a change of heart. He was suddenly a lot happier, not yelling, not making a big deal of things. And I noticed. I asked him what happened. He said that he decided life was too short, that he didn’t want to spend what time he left mad. I really admired that. (And I wish he would get back in that good place.) Kelly of KellyNaturally.com blogged about this video recently, and I was moved to share it here. The speaker was in a plane that crashed, and from that experience he has a new outlook on life. He says: “I no longer try to be right, I choose to be happy.” That is how I wish to be.
I love, love, love this article from A Gift Universe entitled, Should Toddlers Say Please? Sheila hits the nail on the head with her real life examples of a toddler using “please” and “thank you,” but he was using them in the wrong way. The simple fact is, toddlers don’t think the way adults do, so it makes sense that we should adjust our expectations around matters of manners (and other things). A great read!

My Current Giveaways

I love this nursing pillow from Blessed Nest, it was so helpful to me throughout pregnancy and now as I breastfeed. Blessed Nest is giving away a $100 gift certificate, which should cover a Nesting Pillow and shipping for my US readers!
For my breastfeeding friends, enter to win a $40 gift certificate to Milk Nursingwear – they have stylish and super comfortable nursing apparel.

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Sunday Surf: January Edition 2.0. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Successfully Addressing Separation Anxiety in our Preschooler

Dionna — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:00:14 +0000

Kieran and his friends

For about two years now, a friend and I have been trading weekly childcare breaks. Every Friday we alternate – either Kieran goes to my friend’s house for two hours, or her two boys come to my house. I live for those two hours regardless of where the boys play, because I know I can get some things done.

Kieran has always had an elevated case of separation anxiety, so this arrangement has been my weekly respite. It was a process to get him comfortable enough to stay there in the beginning, but he quickly realized how much fun playing at her house is. After that initial adjustment period, we rarely had problems.

Until the third trimester of my pregnancy.

In August, Kieran started crying again when I dropped him off. And in October, he began to flat-out refuse to stay. Each time I tried to walk out the door turned into a full-blown meltdown, complete with him physically attaching himself to my body. It was not pretty.

I chalked his renewed separation anxiety up mainly to my pregnancy. He knew there were big changes coming, and he was clinging to me a little more fiercely than usual. But friends, three months with no break¹ had worn me down, and it was time to figure out a way to address both his needs and my needs in a way that would be mutually satisfactory. There was also the fact that Tom and I hadn’t had any couple time in months, and we were committed to going on a date before we had a new baby.

After Tom and I decided that having our date was a priority, we talked a lot about how we would work with Kieran to ease his anxiety. After much thought and a mentoring chat with Amy of Peace 4 Parents, we focused on three big areas:

Talking with Kieran about the fact that we all have needs and that one of the values our family has is to respect the needs of others.
Reassuring Kieran that even though the separation might be uncomfortable for him, he would be with a safe caregiver who loves him and that we would be back to get him soon.
Dealing with our own anxiety about leaving Kieran crying, because the scenario is very foreign and uncomfortable for both of us.

In the next week, I’ll share more about what we did in each of these three areas. Even better, Amy of Peace 4 Parents is going to weigh in with some sage advice on each post. And today I’m sharing some more general ideas and suggestions about how to help your preschooler work through separation anxiety over at Natural Parents Network – check it out!

Has your child ever gone through a later phase of separation anxiety? How did you gently respond to it?

“No break” is not entirely true – I did get breaks from my husband, who is the best playmate Kieran has. But sitting at home while they’re playing is a little bit different than having a house all to myself, so I really craved the time when I could drop him off at our friend’s house. ↩

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Successfully Addressing Separation Anxiety in our Preschooler. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

February Carnival of Natural Parenting Call for Submissions

Dionna — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:00:30 +0000

We continue to be delighted with the inspiration and wisdom our Carnival of Natural Parenting participants share, and we hope you’ll join us for the next carnival in February 2012! (Check out our January post and a summary of all our 2011 posts if you missed any.)

Your co-hosts are Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Lauren at Hobo Mama.

Here are the submission details for February 2012:

Theme: Respectful Interactions with Other Parents: No matter what parenting philosophy you subscribe to, you’ll eventually meet someone who disagrees with you. This month we’re focusing on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately. Share your tips, challenges, or experiences with communicating nonviolently during disagreements, commenting or communicating without being judgmental, or responding when you feel judged or criticized. The point of this month’s carnival is to promote peaceful interactions!

Deadline: Tuesday, February 7. Fill out the webform (at the link or at the bottom) and email your submission to us by 11:59 p.m. Pacific time: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com

Carnival date: Tuesday, February 14. Before you post, we will send you an email with a little blurb in html to paste into your submission that will introduce the carnival. You will publish your post on February 14 and email us the link if you haven’t done so already. Once everyone’s posts are published on February 14 by noon Eastern time, we will send out a finalized list of all the participants’ links to generate lots of link love for your site! We’ll include full instructions in the email we send before the posting date.

Please submit your details into our web form: This will help us as we compile the links list. Please enter your information on the form embedded at the end of this post, or click here to enter it on a separate page: February Carnival of Natural Parenting participant form

Please do: Write well. Write on topic. Write a brand new post for the carnival. As always, our carnival themes aren’t meant to be exclusionary. If your experience doesn’t perfectly mesh with the carnival theme, please lend your own perspective. Please also feel free to be creative within the gentle confines of the carnival structure. If you’re feeling so inspired, you could write a poem, a photo essay, a scholarly article, or a book review instead of a regular blog post (though those are welcomed, too!), as long as what you write is respectful of the carnival’s intent. If you want help determining that ahead of time, please talk with us.

Please don’t: Please don’t use profanity of the sort that might be offensive to more sensitive readers or their children. Please don’t submit irrelevant or argumentative pieces contrary to the principles of natural parenting. You don’t have to agree with all our ideals — and certainly you don’t have to live up to them all perfectly! — but your submission does have to fit the theme and values of the carnival.

Editors’ rights: We reserve the right to edit your piece or suggest edits to you. We reserve the right to courteously reject any submissions that are inappropriate for the carnival. Please also note that since there are two co-hosts on different schedules and conferring over email, our personal response to your submission might seem delayed. Don’t be alarmed. We also reserve the right to impose consequences if the responsibilities of the carnival are not fulfilled by the participants.

If you don’t have a blog: Contact us (CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com) about potentially finding you a host blog to guest post. Please write your piece well in advance of the deadline in that case, so we can match you up with someone suitable. But if you really have something amazing to write — why not start your own blog? If you want advice, we find Scribbit’s free Blogging in Pink ebook to be a very helpful and down-to-earth guide, for beginners on up.

If you have questions: Please leave a comment or contact us: CarNatPar {at} NaturalParentsNetwork.com

Links to tutorials: Lauren, Dionna, and Dionna’s husband, Tom, have written several tutorials for our participants about how to schedule posts in advance, how to determine post URLs in advance, how to edit HTML — all for both WordPress and Blogger users. For these tutorials and more, please see this handy summary post at LaurenWayne.com.

Stay in touch:

Bookmark the Carnival of Natural Parenting page, and check back for future themes.
Subscribe to our RSS feeds: Code Name: Mama’s feed and Hobo Mama’s feed, as well as the shared feed of our Carnival of Natural Parenting authors.
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Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, February Carnival of Natural Parenting Call for Submissions. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Giveaway: Milk Nursingwear – $40 ARV {2.28 WORLDWIDE}

Dionna — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:00:13 +0000

This is a joint giveaway with Code Name: Mama and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only. Please find the section marked “Win it!” for the mandatory entry and optional bonus entries.

This is a giveaway of a $40 gift certificate to Milk Nursingwear – a company that designs beautiful apparel for nursing mothers.

From our reviewer, Dionna at Code Name: Mama:

About Milk Nursingwear

Elisa Minsk Hartstein was inspired to create Milk after the birth of her first daughter in 1997. She appreciated the functionality of nursingwear, but she found it lacking in style. Elisa wanted to feel attractive and fashionable, and so she launched Milk’s predecessor, Expressiva Nursingwear. She ran Expressiva for seven years until selling it and creating Milk.

She is proud of Milk and of what sets the company apart: excellent customer service; fresh, modern styles; support for mamas and female entrepreneurs; and a committment to responsible and ethical business practices.

Sleeveless babydoll nursing top in blue print

Milk Nursingwear is available worldwide, and there are a variety of nursing fashions to please a world of tastes! Here are a few of my favorites:

What is your favorite product from Milk?

Goddess Nursing Lounge Dress

I selected the Goddess Nursing Lounge Dress to try from Milk. Having always been too frugal (ahem – cheap!) to buy nursing apparel beyond my everyday nursing tank tops, I was in heaven when I tried this on. The fabric is 95% cotton, 5% lycra, and unbelievably soft.

I put on the dress without telling Tom, and when I sauntered out to the living room, his eyes got huge. He thinks the dress is incredibly sexy, and he said that it looks like something I could go out to a party in. I’m not sure I agree – the neck droops a little too far down for my personal comfort level, so I doubt I would wear this out in public. But I wonder if someone who could fill out the top more (i.e., someone with a bigger chest than I have) might be able to wear this out without falling out.

The dress hits just above my knees, has an empire waist, and is a deep purple. It is also available in black, coral, and teal blue.

The ruffle detail at the waistband is adorable, and it is the ruffle that you lift up on in order to nurse.

It took me a minute to figure out what to lift – there is also a pocket for nursing pads, and the multiple linings confused me. (I told you I was a nursingwear novice!) Once I realized what everything was for, it was easy to lift the right layer and latch Ailia on.

Ailia was impressed by mama’s beautiful new dress.

The dress provides nursing mamas beauty and discretion without having to fiddle with nursing tank tops or bras. It is sexy and comfortable – I could see it being ideal lounge wear, sleepwear, or a perfect outfit for the beach or pool (if you don’t feel like swimming).

If you’re in between sizes, I’d ask one of Milk’s customer service reps if they would recommend going down a size. I ordered a medium, but because the material is so soft and stretchy, I almost think that I would be happier with a small. In fact, reading the comments on the site with respect to this dress, it looks like other mamas say the same thing – it runs a little big, and the straps are a tad loose. Other mamas also say that it easily covers a nursing bra, if you want to wear the dress out as a sundress.

The dress is machine wash and dry.

BUY IT!

You can order the Goddess nursing lounge dress, or any of Milk’s beautiful nursingwear at their website.

WIN IT!

For your own chance to win a $40 gift certificate from Milk Nursingwear, enter by leaving a comment and using our new Rafflecopter system below.

One winner will receive a $40 gift certificate. Contest is open WORLDWIDE.

MANDATORY ENTRY: Link to one product you would like to try from Milk. You must enter your name and email address in the Rafflecopter entry system for your entry to count, after leaving a comment on this blog post.

This is a joint giveaway with Code Name: Mama and Natural Parents Network. You may enter at one site only, and we’ll be recording IP addresses to ensure that there are no duplicate entries. That said, please do visit and enjoy both sites!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest closes February 29, 2012 at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time.

Disclosure: Our reviewer received a sample product for review purposes.
Amazon links are affiliate links.
We try to seek out only products we think you would find
relevant and useful to your life as a natural parent.
If we don’t like a product, we won’t be recommending it to you.
See our full disclosure policy here.

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Giveaway: Milk Nursingwear – $40 ARV {2.28 WORLDWIDE}. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!

Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story

Dionna — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:00:38 +0000

Welcome to the first edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by Authentic Parenting and Mudpiemama!
In the month of January, we start afresh, a new year, new ideas. Hence, our participants have looked into the topic of “Birth and New Beginnings”. Take a look at the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants.

***

The first contraction woke me at 1:45a.m. While the contraction was very light, something instinctual told me that this was the beginning of the real deal. I untangled myself from Kieran’s legs and reluctantly left the warmth of our family bed to use the restroom. Another light contraction washed over me while I was in the bathroom, and I decided to stay up for a few minutes to see if the contractions would pick up or peter out.

After another contraction or two, I nudged Tom at 2:00a.m. and told him that I was fairly certain I was in labor. He asked if I needed him, and I told him to get more rest – I wanted to take a shower. Not only had I not showered for a few days, but I also thought that a shower might slow the contractions down if this wasn’t really labor. The warm water felt marvelous, and I don’t remember contracting while I was in the shower, but as soon as I got out and began to dress, another much stronger contraction came on. I took time to dry my hair and let my friends and family know that we were anticipating a Thanksgiving baby.

In the fifteen minutes it took me to finish those tasks, my contractions had gone from mildly annoying to increasingly uncomfortable. I woke Tom up at 2:50a.m. and asked him to get the dining room ready. The two biggest tasks would be moving the table and chairs and setting up the birth tub. I also called my midwife, Amber, to let her know that we were setting the room up. When I called her, my contractions were about five minutes apart and 45 seconds long. She asked if I could talk through them; I considered that and said “well, if I had to, yes, but it wouldn’t be pleasant.” Amber told me to call her back when the contractions were two to three minutes apart and a minute long.

The only picture we got from labor - Kieran patting my head while I reach down to touch Ailia's head (this is the edited version).

I hung up the phone and told Tom to start timing my contractions. He started timing immediately, because a strong one had just hit. As he started getting the room ready, my focus centered abruptly on the waves of contractions. I hesitate to call them painful – although they were – but I felt so calm, so wonderfully assured that my body knew exactly what it was doing.

I remember thinking that this labor was absolutely nothing like my labor with Kieran. While there are obvious differences – my labor with Kieran took 30+ hours at a birth center with a medically-minded midwife, my labor with Ailia took only 2.5 hours at home, and I labored alone for most of that time – the mental differences are what really amaze me. With Kieran’s birth, I felt scared and out of control during much of my labor. I remember struggling against my body – I was fighting contractions, and when the midwife told me to push (hours before my body was ready to push), I had no idea what I was supposed to do. With Ailia’s birth, I felt prepared. I’d been doing daily relaxation techniques and affirmations because I was so nervous that I would have a repeat of Kieran’s birth. I had convinced myself that my body knew what to do – all I had to do was give myself over to it.

And that’s what I did. When contractions felt like they would overpower me, I retreated to the part of my mind where I felt safe and calm. I still felt the contractions, but at some deeper level of my consciousness, I accepted them.

So after hanging up with Amber, Tom timed the next four contractions: they were two to three minutes apart and over a minute long. I texted Amber around 3:20a.m. and told her, and she said she’d get ready to head over. By now, I was vocalizing loudly through contractions. I’d also made several trips to the bathroom and seen a hint of bloody show. Tom was still setting up the birth pool, and I asked him to come help me through a couple of particularly difficult contractions. He pushed against my hips, and the counter-pressure felt so good.

Tom went back to the birth pool, and as I watched him finish the liner, I mentally rolled my eyes – there was no way I would be getting in there. During a break, I tried to clue Tom in to this fact, but he was intent on finishing his job. (He later told me he’d thought I was crazy, in no way did he think I was close to having a baby.) At some point during this time, Amber texted and said to let her know when I wanted her to head over. I immediately texted back one word: Now. I knew it was time. I also (belatedly) realized that I should call Lacy, my birth photographer, but as I searched for her number, another big contraction forced me to abandon that task.

When that particular contraction hit, it was just past 4:00a.m. I’d been using the birth ball to support myself, calmly and steadily moaning through each one. But this one was big, and the panic threatened to unnerve me for the first time. My brain registered the intensity of the pain, and I started to lose my focus. But some inner peace – a peace I never imagined myself capable of – wrapped its arms around that hurting, scared part of me and whispered, “You can do this. Your body is designed for this, and you are amazing.”

And I believed myself! I took a breath and got it together, and in the next moment, I realized I was really about to have a baby. In that very next contraction, I felt Ailia descend through my pelvis. It was the most incredible feeling – I was so aware and in tune with everything going on in my body that I could practically visualize the baby moving through me. As soon as she had descended, I felt my body gearing up to push.

I hollered¹ to Tom and told him that I was about ready to push. He asked if I was sure, then he started to mess around with the birth pool again. I told him that it was too late for the pool and asked him to help me take my pajama pants off. He helped me move over to the plastic drop cloth, and another contraction hit as I was struggling out of my pants – a pushing one. I dropped to my hands and knees, Tom rolled the birth ball over to me, and I groaned.

At the next break, we heard Kieran wake up. Tom went in to get Kieran, and while he was in the bedroom I reached down and felt Ailia’s head during another contraction. I called to Tom and Kieran, asking Tom to get back in with me right now. When he got back in, I breathlessly peppered him with requests: call Amber, get the camera and take pictures, get the camcorder and record, and for the love of God get over here and help!! Tom managed to get one (dark, blurry) picture, he turned on the camcorder and threw it on the table (so there is sound, but no picture), and he called Amber and threw the phone on a chair.

As I pushed, I gently massaged and stretched my skin with my fingers, and I roared. Kieran sleepily wandered into the dining room as Ailia’s head was starting to come out. He walked behind me to look, then he ran back around, rubbed my head, and said “You can do this, mama!” At some point, Tom asked Kieran to get on the phone with Amber, and you can hear Kieran’s little voice on our (pictureless) video say, ”Amber? Can you come help? Mama is having a baby right now.” just as calm as calm can be.

I remember a few things very distinctly from my pushing stage. The first is how calm and collected Tom and Kieran both were. You’d think that I give birth on our dining room floor quite regularly with how ho-hum they seemed to be at the time. The most vivid physical feeling I remember is after Ailia’s head and shoulders were out. I yelled at Tom to “stop pushing me! Stop touching me!” because I thought he had randomly started to put counter pressure on my hips again – but it was like he was moving me from the inside. It was the strangest feeling. Tom responded, “honey that’s not me, Ailia is squirming to get out.” And so she was! Tom could see her squirming from the outside, and I felt her pushing against me from the inside. I said “Get ready to catch, here it comes!”

Within seconds, Ailia and I worked together and she was in Tom’s hands. I had another moment of panic when she did not move or breathe (for what seemed like much longer than it was), and then she took her first breath as I held her to my chest. Once she was breathing I looked and announced she was a girl. Within about two minutes I birthed my placenta in one easy push – between the quick placenta delivery and a part of the umbilical cord that looked like it had been squeezed, Amber thinks that Ailia probably grabbed on and pulled the placenta along with her.

And so went our short – and incredibly empowering – homebirth. I am so thankful that I believed in the wisdom and power of my body- I know that my faith in myself helped make this experience so peaceful and gentle. And Tom and I have agreed – if we ever have another baby, we’ll just have a midwife on standby.

?Visit Authentic Parenting and MudpieMama to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 27 with all the carnival links.)

Becoming Intentional with My Time Valerie at Momma in Progress shares the beginning of her year-long journey toward more intentional living.
Alirik’s Birth Story: Sweet Surprise Lauren at Hobo Mama tells the sweet surprise unassisted home water birth story of her second child.
My Rebirth: An Honest Look Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks a little about some of the fear and insecurity she’s felt over the years since starting her parenting journey and her blog.
Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story After a very challenging birth with her son, Dionna at Code Name: Mama was nervous about having another natural birth. But practicing relaxation techniques and birth affirmations proved to be just what she needed to have her perfect, peaceful, unassisted homebirth.
My Homeschool Philosophy Paige a Bay Dust Diaries shares her new year’s resulution about homeschooling.
Yet Another Resolutions Post... Zen mummy‘s resolutions for a better 2012
Renewing Green Passions in the New Year Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about renewing a passion for green living in the new year
Birthing and New Beginnings… And Better Mothering Sheila at A Living Family shares her first ever New Year’s resolutions to be a more mindful, compassionate and respectful mother to her two-year old daughter after the recent birth of her son.
An Open Letter to MTV Regarding 16 and Pregnant Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama delivers a pointed message to MTV about how they misrepresent birth and parenthood on 16 and Pregnant.
Setting Intentions Megan at The Other Baby Blog shares another way to ring in the New Year.
Spencer’s Birth Story Momma Jorje shares her family’s story of birthing her son with Down syndrome.
Looking Forward, Looking Back Erica @ ChildOrganics shares how she is able to look back at the loss of their daughter and yet move forward with her family at the same time.
Unique unto Itself. Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings has chosen a word for her second child’s birth: awareness.
The Unassisted Birth of The LIttle Buddha. Laura at Authentic Parenting shares the birth story of her new baby
Birthing and Resolutions: Keeping Good Things in Motion. MudpieMama shares her VBAC story and why she skipped making resolutions in the traditional way.
The Birth of a New Era by Mandy from Living Peacefully With Children

yes, hollered might be the appropriate term in this instance ↩

Thank you for subscribing to my RSS feed at Code Name: Mama! I would appreciate your comments and feedback on the entry you just read, Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story. If you write about similar topics, I would also like the opportunity to link to your blog or have you write a guest post. Contact me for details!